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' MARTIN ‘UHUZZLEWJITY v.
I 'conventionalities as air out broad and boundless Perear-
ersl Rough he ma be. So air our Barrs. ‘Vild he may
be. .50 air our Bu alers. But he is a child of Natur',
and a child of freedom ; and his boastful answer to the
Despot and the Tyrant is, that his biight home is in the
Settin' Sun."r - g . V. .
‘l:Part of this referredto Chollop, and part to a western
pastinastcr, who, being a public defaulter not very long
before (a character not at all uncommon in America), had
been ;removcd from office ; and on whose behalf Mr.
Pograni (he -voted for. Pogram) had thundered the last
sentence from his seat in Congress, at the head of an un-
popular President. It told brilliantly ; for the byestand-
ers were delighted, and one of them said to Martin, “ that
he‘ guessed he had now seen something of the eloquential
aspect of our country, and was chawed up pritty small.”
.nMr. Pogram waited until his hearers were calm again,
before he said to Mark :
“You do not seem to coincide, sir? "
‘E-‘-‘-lVhy,’f;said Mark, “I-didn’t like him much; and
that's the truth, sir. I thought he was a bully; and I
didn't admire his carryin' them murderous little persuad-
0f3.‘a.nd being, so ready. to use ’ein.”
’f.“ It’s.siu ular l” said Pograiii, lifting his umbrella
highgenougz 1 to look all round from under it. “It's
strange I. You observe the settled opposition to our In-
stitutions which pervades the British mind l”
E.“‘.lVhat an extraordinary people you are I” cried Mar-
tin. :rffAre Mr. Cliollop and the class he represents, an
Institution here? ' Are pistols with revolving barrels,
sword-sticks, bowie-knives, and such things, Institutions
on which" you pride . yourselves? Are bloody duels, bru-
falcombats, savage assaults, shootings down and stabbing
In the streets, your Institutions! VVhy, I shall hear
.38“. that Dislionourand Fraud are among the Institu-
l-,1011S, Oftho great republic Z"
u:The moment the word.-ipassed his lips, the Honour-
llble Elijah Pogram looked round again.
v;.‘.‘.This morbid hatred of our Institutions,” he observed,
'-‘ilsquite a study for the pliyschological observer. lIe’s
alludin’,to Repudiation now I’’
j:?50lil you may make anything an Institution if you
llke." said Martin, laughing, “and I confess you had me
there. for you certainly have made that, one. But the
greater part of these things are one Institution with us,
Mid we call it by the generic name of Old Bailey l”
The bell being. rung for dinner at this moment, every-
b0fly ran away.into the cabin, whither the Honourable
Elllllll Pogram fled with such precipitation that he forgot
13 umbrella .was up, and fixed it so tightly in the cabin
doontliat it could neltlierbe let down nor got out. For
aminute or so this accident created a perfect rebellion
3-Inong the liuncrry passengers behind, who seeing the
dishes and heaiflng tlie'knives and forks at work, well
knewwhat would happen unless they got there instantly,
and -were nearly mad : -while several virtuous citizens at
the table were in deadly peril of choking themselves in
v t eir unnatural efforts to get rid of all the meat before
‘tlieseotliers came.’ .
'7 9.Y=carriod the umbrella by storm. h0“’9VeI‘. and
1‘1l3hed in at the breach. The Honourable Elijah Pogram
ilfldglllartin found themselves, after a severe ‘struggle
5‘ 3 bl’ Sitlegas they might have come together In the P1‘?
of 9- London theatre - and for four whole minutes after-
wards,’ P‘ ' ' t bl cks of every-
thing 1.. 3‘32'.i’.i‘,g32i‘i..S.i3‘I.‘i‘”f’ii.‘2".."il.?‘L... owhen he had
Ken tliisunusuallv protrhcted dinner. he began to tall‘
‘-0 Martin; and liewgod him not to have the least deli-
"‘“3)" in speaking with perfect freedom to him. fol‘ he ‘V33
"' calm phllosopzlier. VVhich Martin was exti'emelf,E1’‘d
"3 heal‘; for he had begun to speculate on Elijah being a
lsclllle of that other school of republican Philcsophyr
‘ Whose noble sentiments are carved with knives U130“ 3
pupilis body, and written, not with pen and ink, but tit!‘
‘mflfeathers. rv I r . .-,2 .. -
-7?‘-'3‘-What do you tliinklof my countrymen who are Pres‘
enfg Si!‘ 7” inquired Elijah Povrain. ‘. u . ’
. "fl Oh Lvery pleasant,”,said?I'lIartin. - ‘ g
1 iey were a very pleasant party. No man 11adS.P0l‘-en
3 Word ; every one had been intent, as usual. 0“ 111.5 ow”
p"V“te‘R‘0rging ; and the greater part of the calnpany
.“.'e3'0 ‘decidedlydirty,fceders,'f'.1 1.: J, . 1 'v -- '
.1099
The Honourable Elijah Pogram looked at Martin as if
he thought “ You don’t mean that, I know l” And he
.was soon confirmed in this opinion. ‘
Sitting opposite to them was a gentleman in a high
state of tobacco, who were quite a little beard, composed
of the overfiowings of that weed, as they had dried about
his mouth and chin ; so common an ornament that it
would scarcely have attracted Martin’s observation, but
that this good citizen, burning to assert his equality
against all comers, sucked his knife for some moments,
and made a cut with it at the butter, just as Martin was
in the act of taking some. There was a juiciness about
the deed that might have sickened a scavenger.
VVlien Elijah Pogram (to whom this was an every-day
incident) saw that Martin put the plate away, and took
no butter, he was quite delighted, and said : ‘
“ VVell l The morbid hatred of you British to the In-
stitutions of our country, is as-Tolvishing l” ,
“ Upon my life !” cried Martin, in his turn, “this is
the most wonderful community that ever existed. A
man diliberntely makes a hog of himself, and tl2at’.s an
Institution l”
“ VVe have no time to ac-quire forms, sir,” said Elijah
Pogram. - . '
“Acquire i” cried Martin. “ But it’s not a question
of acquiring anything. It’s a question of losing the nat-
ural politeness of a savage, and that instinctive good
breeding which admonislies one man not to offend and
disgust another. Don’t you think that man over that
way, for instance, naturally knows better, but considers
it a very fine and independent thing to be a brute in
small matters?”
“ He is a na-tive of our country, and is nat’rally bright
and spry, of course,” said Mr. Pogram.
“ Now, observe what this comes to, Mr. Pogram,” pur-
sued Martin. “ The mass of your countrymen begin by
stubbornly neglecting little social observances, which
have nothing to do with gentility, custom, usage, gov-
ernment, or country, but are acts of common, decent, nat-
ural, liuman politeness. You abet them in this, by re-
senting all attacks upon their social offences as if they
werea beautiful national feature. From disregarding
small obligations they come in regular course to disre-
gard great ones ; and so refuse to pay their debts.
What thcymay do, or what they may refuse to do next,
I don't know ; but any man may see if he will, that it
will be something following in natural succession, and a
part of one great growth, which is rotten at the- root.” 1
The mind of Mr. Pogrnm was too philosophical to see
this, so they went on deck again. Where. Iesllmlng his
fomier post, he chewed until he was in a lethargic
state, amounting to insensibility. .
After a weary voyage of several days, they canieagain
to that same wharf where Mark had been so nearly left
behind, on the night of starting for Eden. Captain Kedg-
ick, the landlord, was standing there, and was greatly
surprised to see them coming from the boat.
“ Why, what the ’tarnal l” cried the captain. “ “Well I
I do admire at this, I do l” .
“ V! e can stay at your house until to-morrow, captain,
I suppose ‘I” said Martin. qt
“ I reckon you can stay there for a twelvemontliif you
like,” retorted Kedgick coolly. “ But our people .won t
best like your coming back.” ' .
“ VVon’t like it, Captain Kedgick l” said l‘Ial'l.l’Il.7‘
“ They did expect you was a-going to settle,’ hedg-
ick answered, as he shook his head. “They ve been
took in, you can’t deny l” . I ’ “‘
“ lVliat do you mean?” cried Martin. ‘ ’ I "
“You didn't ought to have received ’em,’ said the
captain. “ No you didn't I ” ' “
receive them? . lVas it any act of mine? Didn't you
tell me they would rile up, and that I should be flayed
like a wild cat-and threaten all kinds of vengeance, if I
didii’t receive them 7” - - -
“ I don’t know about that,” returned the captain.
“But when our people's frills is out-, they’re starchcd
up pretty stiff, I tell you I "
VVitli that he fell into
the rear to walk with ‘Mark;
whi]e,llIartin,and.Elijah Pograzn went on to the’Na-
V tional.
“My good friend,” returned Martin, “did I want ’