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’$ZITTLE2‘D0RRIT.W . ‘ . 873‘
-‘A-'s‘ay”,‘ ‘ Humbug ‘I ‘ ' Ah I’ -Fortified’. by ‘such encourage-
ment,”he could venture to ‘say Humbug; and now-,Bar’s
mind was"'r'elieved." "‘ ' ‘J - 1‘ ‘-'r V: 5 ‘r ' " W’.-
I Mr. Tite Bamacle‘; who, like Dr.‘ Johnson’s celebrated
acquaintance,’had only-one ‘ idea in his: head, and that
was "a wrong one,’ had appeared by this time? This emi-
nentgentleman and Mr. Merdle, seated diverseways and
with ruminatin aspects, on aiyellow ottoman in the light
of 1 tliellire, liol ing no verbal coininunication with each
other,"bore"a. strong general’ ‘resemblance-to the two cows
in the'Cuyp‘picture’over a'gainst'them.' = " '-"' l
j" Butfnow,‘ Lord Decimuslarrived.‘ The Chief'Butler,
whblwjp as this time had limited himself to’ ‘a “branch ‘of
his usual function h looking at, the company as‘they-en-
tered (and that,‘;wit 1 more of defiance t an favour), put
himself so’ far o‘ut‘of his way as to come up-stairs-with
himfand‘announce‘l1im." ‘Lord Decimus ‘being an Iover-
ploweiingi peer,‘ a' bashful’-young -member’ of the Lower.
‘ case, ‘who was the last-fish but one caught by the Bar-
nacles,"an'd‘ wh'o‘3had ‘been’ invited on’ t llS occasion to
commemorate his capture, shut his eyes when his'l.ord-'
ship came in. ‘ p p ’
Lord Deciirliismevertheless. was lad to ‘see the mem-
ber. He was also glad to? see’ Mr.‘ lferdle, ' glad to see
Bishop, glad to see Bar, glad to see Physician; glad to see
Tite Barnacle, gladyto see" Chorus, glad to see Ferdinand
his private‘ ‘secretary. Lord'Decimus, ' though one of the
greatest ’of the earth, was not remarkable for ingratiatory
manners’,'and Ferdinand ha'd coachcdhim up :to the
point: of noticing‘ all ‘the fellows he might meet there,
and ‘sayin heiwas glad to’see them. ’ lVheu he'hud
achieved t xis-rush>of vivacity andicondescension, his
'Lordshi composed himself into 'the picture after Cuyp,
and ma e a third cow in the group. i , ‘ ‘ ' "
i’f Bar,’who felt that he had got’ all the ‘rest ofythe jury
‘and mustnowlay hold of the Foreman, soon came slid-
‘ing"'up;"double eye-glass‘ in hand, Bar tendered the
weather, as a.‘ subject neatly ‘aloof from oflicial reserve,
.for’the Foreman’s consideration. ‘ Bar ‘saidthat he‘was
told‘(as everybody always is told, though who tells them,
and why!,:will for ever remain a mystery), that there was
tdpbe ‘no wall-fruit this year." 1 Lord Decimusvhad not
heard ‘anything amiss of his peaches,‘ but rather believed
if 'his people were correct, he‘ was to have no-apples.
No apples? ‘Bar was lost in astonishment andcoucern.
It" would have been all one to him, in reality, if there
had-not been ’a‘plppl11 "on the surface of the'earth,’ but
‘his show ‘of interest in this apple question waspositively
painful. .‘gNow', to’ what, Lord Decimus-p-for we trouble-
somellawyers loved to gather information, and. could
"never tell how useful it might prove to us-to what,
Lord Decimus, was this to be attributed‘? Lord Decimus
could’not undertnkeitovpropound any tlieoryiabout it.
This might have stopped another man‘; but,‘ Bar stick-
ing toihim fresh as ever, said, “ As to pears,‘ now?’-’
V’ ‘“,Long after Bar got made'Attorney-General, this was
told of him as a master-stroke. Lord Decimus hada rem-
iniscence ’about a pear-tree, formerly growing in a
garden near the back of his'dame’s house at Eton,-upon
lwhich pear-tree the only joke of his life perennially
rbloozned.-' It was a.‘ joke of a compact and portable na-
ture,'-"turning on the difference between Eton pears and
. ‘Parliamentary pairs ; but ‘it- was a joke,‘a refined relish
of whlchwould seem to have appeared to Lord Decimus
impossible to be had, without a thorough and intimate
‘ac uaintance with the tree. Therefore,‘ the story at first
1119- no idea of such atree‘, sir',‘then gradually found it
in winter, carried it through the changing‘ seasons, saw
‘it bud. saw‘ it blossom,’ saw itvbear fruit,‘ saw the fruit
uripen, inshort, cultivated the’ tree-‘in that diligent and
minute manner before it got outof. the bedroom window
‘ to steal-the fruit, that many thanks had been ‘offered up
by belated listeners for the tree's having beenplanted K
flndgraftcd prior to Lord Decimus's time. Bar's interest
. In applesj was‘ so over-topped by the wrapt suspense in
"Whi‘ch' he ‘ursued the changes of these pears, from the
-‘moment w em‘ Lord 'Decimus‘ sdlemnly opened with
“:Your,‘mentioning pears recalls to my remembrance a
pear-tree,“ down to the‘rich, conclusion, “Andso-‘we
Pi1ss,‘=through .the‘various changes of’ life, frozn'5Eton
' l-93-ifs to Parliamentary pairs,”- that he had to go down-
"stairs-with‘ Lord Decimus, and eventhcnzto be seated
next to=him' at table, in,order that he might hear the an-'
ecdote out. By that time, .Bar felt that he had secured-
the Foreman, and might go to dinnerwith a" good appe-
tite. ,.,-.>':. ,. pi :' g‘
V It was a dinner to provoke an appetite, though he had
not had one. ‘The'rarest dishes, sumptuouslycooked
and sumptuously served; tlie .choicest fruits ; the most
exquisite wines ; marvels.of.workmanship‘ in. gold and
silver, china and glass ; innumerable things delicious to
the senses of taste,’ smell,’ and sight, were insinuated
intoritscomposition. :0, what a wonderfulsman ithis
Merdle, fwhat agreat man, .what a master man, how
blessedlytandenviably endowed-in,one word, whpata - ‘
rich man! i . - . .
‘ He. took his usual poor ’eightcenpennyworth' of food,
in his usual indigestive way, and had as little to say for
himself'as ever a‘wonderful man had. Fortunately
Lord‘Decimus was one of those sublimities who have no‘
occasion“ to -be talked to, for they can be at any time
sufficiently occupied with the contemplation of their
own greatness. This enabled the bashful young mem'-'
ber'to keep his eyes open long enough at a. time-.to see
his dinner.’
shut them again. , .
> The agreeable young Barnacle, and Bar, were the
talkers. of the party. Bishop would have been exceed-
ingly agreeable also, but that his innocence stood in his
way.‘ ‘He was so soonqleft behind. Vl'hen there‘ was
any little hint of anythingbeing in the wind, he got
lost directly. r lVor1dly affairs were too much for him;
he couldn’t make them out at all. . .. , I
t This was observable when Bar said, incidentally, that
he was happy to have heard that we were soon to have
the advantage of enlistinrr on.the good side, the sound
and plain sagacity-not demonstrative or ostentatious,
but thoroughly sound and practical-of ourfriend Mr.
Sparkler; " . -. . 3 ..
-- Ferdinand Barnacle laughed, and said oh yes,’he be-
lieved so. A vote was a vote, and always acceptable.
‘Bar was sorry to miss our good friend Mr.- Sparklcr to-
day, Mr. Merdle: . . i , . - ., , ‘
. “He is away with Mrs. Merdle,” returned that gentle-
man, slowly coming out of an abstraction, in the course
of which he had been fitting a table-spoon up his sleeve.‘
“ It is not indispensable for.him to be on the spot.”
.4 " The magic name of Merdle,” said Bar, with the jury
droop, “no doubt will sufiice for an." . . , , 4
' “ VVhy-yes-I believe so,” assented Mr. Merdle, put-
ting the spoon aside, and clumsily hiding each of his
hands in the‘ coat-cuff ‘of the other hand. . “I believe
the people in my interest down there, will not make any
difliculty.’.’: . . . . -
"Model people 1” said Bar.. - ,
5 "‘ I am glad youapprove of them," said Mr. Merdle.
‘f And the people.of. those other two places,'now,"’
pursued Bar, with a bright twinkle in his keen eye, as
it slightly. turned in the direction of his magnificent
neighbour; “ we lawyers are always curious, always in-
quisitive, always picking up odds and ends for our patch-
work minds, sinco thereis no knowing when and where
they may fit into some corner ;-the people of tliose other
two places, now? ‘ Do they yield so laudably-to'thc vast
andcumulative infiuencetof such enterprise andrsuch
renown ; do those little rills become absorbed soquietly
and easily, and, as it were by the influence of natural
laws, so beautifully, in the swoop of the majestic stream
as.it fiows.upon its wondrouswayIenriching the sur-
rounding lands ; that their course is perfectly to be cal-
culated,‘and distinctly to beprcdicated?” ' ,. “ ‘ C
Mr. Merdle, a. little troubled -by. .l3ar’s.- eloquence,
looked‘ fitfully aboutzthe nearest salt-cellar forfsome
moments, and then said,’l1esitating : . I I. ' , . , .
“They are’ perfectly aware, sir, of their. duty. to So-
ciety. They will return anybodyl send to them for that
purpose.” . I . u '. I .. .1 .7.
“Cheering to know,’5 said Bar. .“. Cheering to know."
a The three places in question were three little rotten
holes in this Island, containing three little ignorant,
drunken, guzzling, dirty,‘ out of the way constituencies,
that had reeled into Mr.u'Merdlo’s pocket. Ferdinand
Barnacle laughed in his easy way, and airily said they
were" it nice set of fellows. Bishop, mentally.pcram-
Butpwhenever Lord Decimus spoke,‘ he”