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:a.i,'l,Wcgg‘3':s‘? my‘; KW 33--no
,a . .i ..
F‘-% . '-‘-:‘.‘r‘>""
,,,-...-‘tuna--an-gpa
.....-'- vi
‘ would be asked a. dozen dliiferent
N (3
snonrr, Jmvzon Oi’) alanine.
cannot be surpassed. it is-ah-very easily kept. A
few sheets of brown paper, an old doormat or two, and
half a dozen circus posters will be ample to teed a
neck on all winter."
He would seldom get further than this before he
uestions which he
would answer in his own way : an if he failed to give
much uformatiou he at least kept the crowd in a high
state ofgood humor.
Mrs. McGorroty was exhibiting a prize goat and two
kids, and her neighbor was a German who owned a
bigsavage billy, the worst animal in the show.
hese two people were always wrangling, and on the
third day they had a regular battle. and the fair
hlcaorroty retired from the held with a black eye.
The German stood grinning in triumph, when the
McGorroty,as mad as a March hare. seized one of her
kids and hurled it at his head. v
The iiying animal struck hill: in the face, and with a
bowl ofanguish he tumbled over: i
was too go an opportunity tor his billy to
miss; and he gave his master a vicious dig in the back
that sent him flying. v
A tall man just at that moment stooped to examine
I very pretty little Nanny, and as he oilered a tempting
mark that no well regulated goat would pass, he was
suddenly treated exactlyas the German had been.
They came together with a crash.
" Who the deuce you kickln‘ 1" eternly asked the
tall man. " Vat for you knock me down vonst 2’
hercely demanded the German. ‘
They clinchxeid in a moment, and began pounding
”cTIl]1eay“:g$)rtvilow:iyon the door and before they could be
separated, a dozen goats, without the slightest par-
tiallty, began butting them hot and heavy.
They were finally rescued, and left looking as if they
had been through the whole Turkish war. > -
With heartfelt thanks, Shorty Junior saw the last
day of the show roll round. With a thousand and one
annoyances he hadn't been himsell for a week. and he
vowed never to be caught in B11011 I 311313 383“)-
The premiums were given out amidst aperlect hurri-
cans of growls, but as most everybody got something,
good humor was speedily restored-
The prizes were given in the lecture-room. H15 I8
shorty Junior was about quitting the stave, glad that
the thing was nearly over, he was stoppe by Shanks
and the Reverend Mr. GUPPY. the latter carrying in his
hand a handsome box.
Everybody in the place-and it was jammed-was at
once on the tiptoe oi excitement to know W118‘ WEB
“’.‘.“s‘,'i5'- we Shanks, addressing Shorty Junior ; --i
.114 31': Guppy have been appointed a committee of
two to present to you a slight token of esteem gotten
up by some of the exhibitors and all at the employees
If this establishment."
He retirod with a bow : Ind Chips beam 90 M13004
(‘or the first time since the advent of the goats.
.4 saw cu; gometliin' like," he thought. " Dey does
’preciate me after all. Iguess it’s a watch." '
when Guppy came to the front. - v
.. Ahem," began he. " Words tail to express, language
nnno; impart, the state of my -ieelings at this
moment. I hold in my hands box, the contents oi
which 1 have as yet not been introduced to. as I may
33y, But as it is sfree ofering from-811-H1059 W110
hold you dear, allow me to hope, air. that when you
wear it, you will think ol-ah-me. .
Here he handed over the box which Shorty Junior.
grlnnino with pleasure, secured and quickly opened.
first there was a paper and on it these words:
as To me best, the kindest, the most popular Km in
in 1 t how. - ,
as Batosejigt):'e<Il hot.” he muttered. ‘"9.’ read“-'8 “-
And then he went dowinliu the box again and brought
, h . -' - '
'“1'-,,,’,‘;f‘J.‘i?.l.?afi:f;ii‘l'fl- that went up from the vast
‘ audience shook the bu
ling’ (ii i e a but 11
h kl as sappo ll e - e
,,,'f1”.f,e1:;.‘1'?.6il."l.‘;l:'.a sot biixself; and whe ’ he saw
31,3533 and his dad standing at one of the wings howl-
mg wjfhjoy, he knew who had put the job up on
. . . >. I -. iv ' ’ - .‘: v v
.. ‘An ru ,"he shouted, shaking his leather present,
-v e‘ll nncel out dat dis isn’t dar sort of kid ter meddle
6:. . . .
,Andtheydid. . - - , v '
ltted th 1 ti‘ . and thrusting
Ihsoggza-:l.l:xl')‘lZnp%:keI, welitpolr gigs: hunk iznme
aiately.
ll fth h :1 about the place,
“So .f?3?:1ofTil::o;a:z'3xotae buifdllnsg where the goats
,.,,g,‘,‘,d mp;-cine, he directed that every one oithexn be
‘HQEIDTSLWBH soon accomplished. and then began a. scene
ti .
"Ht bexfltliafz gglglgti (tllile goats stood quite still. I8 if
they could hardlybelleve that the one darling wish 0!
their hearts was really gratlned. I t
As every goat there had a solemn enZ5R9m9n 0
5 M "93, other goat, they seemed undetermined
be i .
'1'%:&:l’ln%fll'8 big billy opened the ball by lmocklns
a much smaller animal clean on’ his pin: with one
bl
ow. '
b neral.
s::.::;:=:;:r“2.;“i'::...”?:::.'::.. but
ting mass ofexcited K0395. “Ch "Mn"! “ch mmhung
Inch entanglements, was surely never thought of
fgfgie by the‘ oldest and most warlike goat in the
o . V W
t th ' f t to of the
..‘.'.i::.:.'.r:':c:.s...=“= .:....f“:.ai:i.::a::.w. .:
‘ “Didn'tdey gait?
which will undoubtedly be.handed down from one
generation of goats to another. - .
The noise was terriiic and. the air was full oi dying
on
g They would rear up on their hind legs, and cocking
their heads one side as if taking perfect aim, would
come together with a wild rush that ought ‘to have
dislocated their backbones. . i i
Some were kicking, some on their backs, some bleed-
ing, many half blinded, but every individual goat full
01’ light and no doubt only dreading that too quick an
end should be put to their pleasures. .
Every goat was mad all the way through, item the
tip of his tail to the end of his horns, and it looked as
if each one had made up his mind never to quit the
field while a single antagonist remained alive.
The owners were all in the lecture-room where the
animals were ilrst untied. but when the battle began
they hurried to the scene as quickly as possible. ‘
The crowd followed of course and commenced howl-
ing, booting, and cheering on the combatants, like a lot
of demons broke loose.
“ I'll bet ten dollars on the big white 1'’
‘'60 ‘t Dutch Hills, knock ‘em cold
,.. pr
" Git up, redney, an’ give hill]-&ll0Chel'fOI' th' honor ‘
ofTin Pot Alleyl
" Call th‘ police l"
" Anchor a man of war oi! Wall Street l"
" Chuck in er circus poster an‘ see 'im go fer it I"
The goats paid no attention to anybody, but went
right on attending strictly to business, and fought in
the most desperate and determined manner.
e as on handwhen the owners came upsnd
with a malicious grin he shouted to them: - - ’
" Yer fellers were extra kind to chuck dis leadder
medal at me an‘ I ‘predates ter action highly. I can't
treat yer all ter a. drink, but every mother's son ofyou
go right in an‘ take a horn.’
“Dis show's over, der's yer goats, please remave'e:n
at once "
I ,
Al: the otherend, with the tamboriue. sat Mr. Bus-
er, that gentle youth who played the harlequin, and
who scaled about‘. seven hundred pounds.
and when they were blacked up it was hard to tell
which was the most comical-looking, he or Bones.
The giant was the middle man, and the balance oi‘
the company, excepting the singers and musicians.
consisted of the tall woman, fat females, who had-
tigured in the ballet, and dwarfs. - >
It was an odd collection, and when it is added that
old man Shorty-who was. formerly in the minstrei
business-himself appeared, it can be readily imag-
insd that the house was crowded nightly. -
he Performance consisted of a parlor entertain-
ment, ollowed by songs,dances,sketches,and a farce.
' ,5?-Ofty Jr. supplied the jokes, which were fresh,
crisp, and pat to the times, while his dad took charge
0 the stage management, and on his very llrstnp-
pearance, renewed his former m‘umphs.
gtoutlad, who though he was little more than an
animated bone, was as healthy and frisky as a. colt,
did the Faserice of oi’ Vlrginuy,” and his odd looks
d queer contomons, :11
0th he and Mr. Buster, the fat man, sang comic
songs in the opening, and their voices were as oppo-
siteascould be; Scoutlad'r. beings deep rich bass
that seemed to come from somewhere away down
stairs, yvhilas Buster owned a light falsetto that would
have disgraced alsd of ten. . -
e sentimental songs and choruses were well
ng, the sketches lively, the actors droli from their
ery looks. and the venture a. success from the tlrst.
and it afforded tliekicl a. perfect harvest of fun,
and rackets by the dozens. ,
uster, on account of his enormous size, had to
ve'a. chair made to order to sit in. .
T1“? 5310113’. JP-. managed to have hidden away
one night, and substituted in its stead an ordinary
arm-chair.
"Who makes mine goat tied loose?" howled the
th k
Amidsb a storm of laughter, the German rushed in
among the clashing animals and grabbing his big bill ‘
by his lighting end, nttem ted to drag him out.
The goats resented this nterierence in a bod .
Twenty of them ‘at least went for that representative‘
0fBerlln, and began a violent assault on ‘
lerent parts oihii boil . -
lie roared with pain, and when hexot sway helooked
as if he had been spending an evening with a family of
buzz saws. l
A lot oi exhibitors sailed at the goats in a body, and
tried to drag their favorites oil. And then the din was
redoubled. lien owled, raved, swore and tugged at
their property, kicking and striking right and leit, but
the goats r llierl hnely, and drove the would be cap-
ors from s held, while the crowd laughed, booted
and applauded. > r - .
The only way the battling mass was get out was by
grabbing those on the outskirts by the hind legs and
dragging them from the building. -
They were all iinally removed, excepting the Gor-
man's big billy, who was unanimously declared to be
the boss goat, and purchased on the spot by the kid, to
add to his othercurloslties.
As soon as the last exhibitor disappeared, all traces
of the goat show were swept away, and never before in
his life was the kid so glad to get out at any scrape as
he was out of this. - -
. " Tell yer what. dad," said he on the road home,
"nudder day of dat would a made a howlin’ lunatic
outer yours truly, ’s a gun." -
exclaimed Shorty.
"Yes, Nanny go lt," observed Chips with a grin.
" ow ‘bout dat medal 1" .
"Don’t chuck remarks ’bout dat; kazher alone. I owe
Shanks onqjer dat bounce."- - I.
. ."Ir he’d had it made out of (in it might have panned
out better." codded his dad. -
“ Oh, 'lit had been lead it would 'er Zed ter same ter
der same results," answered the kid good humoredly.
,. ."Yes, but it wasn't lead-it was ladder." , ,
"Sole ledder ter, by der way I was :01‘ on it," laughed
Shorty Junior. "11 say, dad, dat big goat I bought is .-i
(carer " V '
"I link he's a r1'pper." ‘
“ Dat ]oke‘s on’y kinder ans mo."
, "Seam: radder weak, dat's fact."
" Don't be ser tnnny; ye’ll give mer a killed in mer
side ladn.' Every time dat billy hit nudder goat he
knocked him bill ."
“ Bet he give a good many oi lem der rheutnalics "
saidshorty. ' -
-- 'F darn so, day better put ‘em In attic room: till day
glts cured,” punned the kid.
And so they had it back and forth until they reached
the hotel, where, as Shortydunlor observed, " erbearty
now 0! vittals stopped der flow oi wit."
shorty Junior was simply another name for Enter.
prise. Every day he added some new attraction to his
show, and certainly no visitor conldgo away complain.
in: that be had not had h money's worth.
lie wanjnatined in his large outlays, for the public
extended to him agenerous support and his bank ac.
count was getting big enough to make one‘s eyes gligcen,
in s ared neither pains nor expense, and justly
boaste that he owned theboss show oi the United
States.
litter the pantomime had had its run, he started;
new lay out, which he called:
" Shorty Junior‘: Mammoth American Minstrels."
Ills troupe was a curiosity. and took the town by
e
I
n
9111131].
"S;);llebOdy dat tort he looked tertidy," answeredi
e . c
as ma dif-
ny ch
Buster didn't notice the‘ change until the curtain
sdrolled up, and then he was in a d'lt-mms.
alrat once, and as he could not sit down in sec-
tions, he looked the picture of despair, gazed at the
audience, then at himself, and then at his seat.
This set the people laughing at him, and made him
m He threw the thing away, and called for some-
thing he could sit in. ‘
3 ‘"1-W1‘ brought him two ordinary wooden
As he was assent to plant himself,the i;ld,vrho had a
stout string fastened to one of them, pulled it
and Buster sat down on the stage with a crash that
59901‘ the h0Use.and immediately had a free exhibi-
tion of 9. million stars, more on
::Yer dropped somethin'l" sari
“Gil er broom an’ sweep him u ,
Send ter der dentin’ dock an’ iiste lilml"
B55.
2: out a siaall boy.
. .
adtoass‘l.h' t ii‘ 1 l n-
edand amgslauargld o is eet, whi e everybody laug
e wasn I: sure whether he was all there or not.
- He always on these occasions complained to Shorty
Junior, that some darned rascal was sticking things
ighlm; agrlevance that the kid listened to with a
song, the latter clubbed him vigorously. ,
an old business, and never fails toralse A
hearty laugh.
While one man clubs the other as hard as he ca .
the arty that is receiving: the punishmeutgoes rig
0“ E "EH12 35 if he was entirely alone: and on discov-
ering that he is not, be coolly turns around and
shakes hands with the clubber as if nothing out of
“'9 W3)‘ had happened. ' ' ,
n this particular occasion Chips had inserted in
the clubused at small, she: brad.
Stoutlad knew nothiugabout this, and the clubbing
gun as usual.
. At ilrst all was well‘ but suddenly, the club having
Egiumed again, the tired drove into Buster's tender
The non: instantly ceased, he ave a ell like a Hot-
tentoi. bounded half a dozen left straight. in into the
air and came down in the orchestra, smash ng a pin-
D0 Mid upsettlnizfour or the musicians.
“me” 3‘3"58-med. men howled, and the wh018
house wssln an uproar,
More dead than alive he was assisted to the ‘stage,
and if at that moment he could have got his ban
on the innocent Stoutlad, he would have torn 01'! his
”‘’.":2.:‘.':“.‘::‘‘” mi?‘ "8 W; - , - , S. ..
'. e is ma nee on I. eds ollow ug O Y
Junior had both Buster and Stoutlgd arrested.
H9 ll“-d but up a job on them with a couple of the
'md9"“ke" 5 8303. who sailed in Just at the close 0‘
"19 Performance, and seizing their victims by tbi
arms, said: ,
:You are '.v‘n'nted. Come with us."
I 00d i-'.0P- gasped Buster, gettlnz down to the
co“or of a sheet with surprising rapidity.
What fort" nervously asked Stoutlsd in stem-
ed voice. '
“We have discovered the whole base lot " re lied
g:I'9elfr‘lf'1]Keynltlt,tle ‘man who had acted mg zirto cor-
he was demfinmil tried to convince S anks that
rker. “Aln’t we rtnerr
1711.
one or the end men was air. Stoutlad, the
living
skeleton, and whenever he was addressed as
"Bones,"
it invariably brought down the house.
"Knowll. ll" ' ‘
- “Yes. bu? 'wn$.'1i3‘l:‘ihei3l.Tt"iT.?li':'$g' done?"
J-F‘0“SlY inquired Buster, who had to stop and
.‘ A
- Being as helpless as a. childwhen once down they ‘
whose name, by the way, was ,
..