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' Niagara Falls
. THE SHIIRTYS MARRIED
A SEQUEL TO ALL THE SHORTY STORIES.
'yI‘I-IE SI-IORTYS MARRIED
By'PETE.R, P.AD..
AND SETTLED DOWN.
AND SETTLEIJ DOWN. .-
Autlzor of "Bob Rolliclc; or, W7zat Was IIe Born For?" “Ebenezer Crow,” "Stump; or, Little, but 012, llfyl" “Chips and (,'ln'n am,"
“Stuttering Sam,” “Tommy Bounce,” “Tommy Bounce, Jr., a Chip of the Old Black,” “Tommy Bounce at Oollege," -
“Tom, Dick, "and the
CHAPTER I.
Wrn.r., fellows, here we are again!
Idid think after bringing the shortys back home
from their trip around the world, that they would
naturally simmer down and pass the remainder of
their da in uneventful quiet, but I should have
known em e
I should have known that such a thing as quiet is
impossible with them, although I feel convinced that
the world at large might never have heard of them
again had it not been for the original Shorty himself, a
feuow who probably never will be quiet unnl he turns
his toes up to the daisies.
On their return from the long journey they had
taken, they all three of them-the old man Burwick,
short , and the Kid-rested in New York for about a
moat The old man wanted to rest longer, in fact
he would have kept quiet the remainder of his life, but
Shorty got restless and wanted to travel around some
He took several short trips alone, visiting Boston,
Providence, Springtield, Hartford, New Haven, Albany,
Buffalo, Niagara Falls, and other places while grand-
father and ndson remained uietiy in New York,
occasionally for s on trips to neighbor-
It is said that “ oft threatened comes at iast;" that
“ the pitcher that goes often to the well is broken at
last;” that “ every man meets his into some day,” and
it finally proved so with Shorty. V
The lad whom we have known so long; who had
traveled tens of thousands of miles without meeting
bodily harm got caught out on the ily at last, although
he kept mighty dark about it at first.
Wh ie spending a few days at Nia ra I-‘ails, he acci-
dentally made the acquaintance o a widow lady by
tile name of Budge. She was a bright, smart, chip-
pery, good-looking lady, but onl about a head taller
her physical figure
was not high enough, herjinmwial figure was, for she
was known to be quite wealthy and possessed of only
two children-daughters-who were spending the
season at the mountains.
Shorty became interested in her and she in him, and
it was only a little while before they got as thick and‘
sweet as molasses together. Indeed, it was the iirst
time in his life that Shorty had ever been in love with
a woman. lie "had iem bad," and for a time it took
the deviltry all out of him.
He was traveling under the name of George Bur-
wick, which was really his right one, and was s narc-
ly on his good behavior. lie was more of a swe l and
masher than we have ever known him before, and as
it was possible for him to show a good bank account
it is not to be wondered at that the Widow Budge fell
in love with him.
They parted after a week's acquaintance to meet
again atxewport and there they resolved on getting
married althong on account of their size it was
agreed to have a private wedding; after which they
would start right oil’ on their honeymoon tour, with-
out letting any of their friends or relations know
, about it until some time afterward.
So they got a minister to hitch them up rivatciy,
and immediately started for the West, going iy way of
where they first met, and so grcatl in-
terested did they become in each other that they oth
torgot all about their friends and relations.
Indeed, Short had gone from Ncw'York to New rt
without telling is father and son where he was go ng,
or how long he intended to stay, which was something
unusual for him.
Finally a month passed by without their hearing
, anything from him, and they began to grow anxious.
They had both noticed that he had acted strangely
after his return from the Falls, and now that they
came to think of it in connection with his long and
unexplained abscucc, it made both father and son
-very uneasy.
' And here is at where I got let into it.
Taking up t is Ilerala one morning about that time,
1-was astonished to ace the following "Personal":
Twp Around the World,” Etc. Etc.
“ Gamma Bimwrcx (‘shorty ’):-Where are your
Communicate at once with your anxious father.
"Josrsn Btmwrcx."
Was it possible that anything could have happened
to my little old friend? ' ’
Without loss of time I went to Mr. Burwickis hotel,
where I found both he and the Kid plunged in the
greatest anxiety and ef.
“ Pad, what on earth do you think has become
of him I" asked the old man, anxiously.
" Oh, I think he will turn up all right,” said I.
“ Do you really think so, Petey i" asked the Kid; and
I never saw him look so sober before.
“Yes- he has probably gone oifyachting with some
of his friends. and it ma beimpossible for him to com-
municate with yon, or e may have written, and the
letter miscarried."
“I am afraid not, Mr. Pad. Iam afraid that some-
thing has happened him (hadn't there something hap-
pened him, though!) and that he has been murdered,"
said the old man.
“ Oh, I cannot believe that, my dear sir.”
" Now hole on, Petey, yer know dat dad allus carried
a scoop ofshu with him ’
“;Well, yes; know that he could generally sit down
on a pretty fair-sized boodie." r
it, dat's what we're afraid of. May be some
dutrer found it out an’ laid for him," said the little fel-
low with great earnestness.
“ cannot believe it" I replied.
"And besides that, I have a fear that he may have
made away with himself" said the old man.
" Whati" I exclaimed; “ short make away with
himself! (But hadn't he, thong l) Shorty commit
suicide? Shorty, the happiest. most genial soul in the
world, he make avnlgar ‘stiff’ of mselfi '0, no
Take any shape but that, and
never tremble. As well believe
would get the blues.”
“But stranger things than that have happened.
When we saw him last, on his return from Niagara
Falls, where he had been a couple of weeks, we both
noticed that he looked and acted strangely. There
was a sober, far-away look in his eyes, and he had but
a little to say about anything.”
“ is that sot Well, he may have fallen in love with
somebody. That generally makes a man sober."
“0 nonsense! I cannot believe that possible any
more than you believe it possible that he has commit
ed an ide." - ,
" Bani Dad limit that kind of a rufiie," said the Kid.
"Well, at all events you will probably hear from
him before long," said I.
“if! don't hear from him this week, I shall inform
the police, and set them at work.”
I eft them with the best consolation I could give,
and two days afterward I called a in.
They had heard nothing from h m, although several
of his old friends who had seen the advertisement had
called to inquire, and both father and son were plunged
in the deepest sorrow.
But while we were speaking a tclegraplh messenger
rapped on the door of their room. T a Kid new to
open it, forihe had become so nervous that he could
not keep ll.
‘ osiah Burwick 7" asked the messenger boy.
“Yes, that's me!" exclaimed the old man, leaping
from his easy chair and running to the door.
Receiving the message, whatever it was, he trotted
back again to the light.
Breaklngthe envelope with nervous hand he opened
the dispatch and read aloud, as follows:
“CHICAGO Iil., Wednesday.
" Dun Dan-Just road yer ad. I-'orgot all lboutyer.
llm here an’ married. IV ill be home again next week.
Yum, yum, yu Snort it
The olri man dropped all in nheap upon the floor,
and the Kid stood as though paralyzed.
I felt a trifle uecr myself.
We sprinkler the o (l fellow with some ice water,
and he gradually revived. .
m nerves shall
y firm
that liiomns himself
,” "Shorty; or, Kicked into Good Luck,” "Tommy Dodd,” “Shorty
in Search of His Dad,” “Tumbling Tim,” ‘ ‘The Slwrtys’
“ is that so 7" were the ilrst words he spoke alter we
had got him into his chair again.
“It looks like it,” said I.
The Kid picked up the dispatch from the uoor.
“Petey, ole man, read dat again; I haven’t got
(titer nerve," said he, with a voice trembling with euro
0
in.
“Yes ” said the old man faintly.
I read the dispatch to them again.
“I don't believe it," said the old man.
:. lips al racl]u:‘et,"mput"in the Kid.
‘ es, ust ke m.
“Der idea of dad's getting hooked up! Nixyi"
“But he is auve at all events,” said I.
“Yes thank heaven for that, he is alive!" the old
man cried, most ferventl .
“But datls some of h tail’. No hook up oh,no;
not unless he’s got oi‘! his hut," rotested the ‘Kid.
“Oh, no" it is undoubtedly s mply one of his old
rackets. fie thought he would create a sensadon,
that's all," added the old man.
“ Well, I am glad to know that he is still in the land
of the living, for whether he is reall married or not
gee: not slg much matter; it’s a trifle tier than being
ea , sa .
" Well, maybe, a trifle," mused the old man.
2' At all events, I shall call up and see him when he
re urns.
:‘That's right, come of course.” .
‘But don’t expect ter ilnd him hooked up, Petey;
oh, noi” added the Kid, as I took my leave.
of course at that time I knew no more about it than
they did, but it somehow stuck in my mind that the
little rascal was actually married. ,
I knew mm to be a restless fellow, and that he had
tried almost everything else in the world but matri-
mony inearnest, and i thought it would be just like
him to try that now, that he had no other novelty to
amuse himself with
And I must confess that this belief grew upon me
the more I thought abontit, and I could hardly wait
for next week to come that I might make sure ofii,
and I said to m self: “if he really has got married,
the probability 5 that I shall have something more to
wrr Tun Bors on New Yum: regarding him."
I allowed a week to pass by before I caued at the
hotel again, and, being shown into the room, I found
the old man sprawled in his easy-chair with a wet
towel bound around his bald head, and the Kid in his
his legs wide apart, his arms hanging
iistlessly at his side, and his whole appearance re
minding me of a wilted onion-top.
They both looked longnidiy up, but neither spoke.
“Well?” said I, alter waiting a moment without re
ceiving either a welcome or a recognition.
Tiify ogvheneni their eyss slowly.
“ as orty retume I’
They both groaned.
m;r‘ll’l"’hat do you say? Has anything happened to
Two more groans; one a basis. the other a treble.
“Pete, he‘s here," said the Kid but a tone that
might have made a person think he had been brought.
homeon ice or in a casket.
" ti ell, how is hell’ and again the old man groaned.
“ Petey, he's done it '
:: Rgnlggglliat i" I asked, though I strongly suspected
“Whatl is he really mnrriedi"
m‘a"f)I;.a Pod, donlt narrow us up," said the old
. r y.
“No, I won" My agricultural implements are all
in the country. But tell me abonti ’ said I.
nretcy, itls awful! Oh, that awfu dad of mine I"
H
H Ila.-alhe ‘tonne bad:
r. or, men t got the nerve to tell you, but he
is actually married; only think of it."
"Well, perhaps it will be a good thing for him; per-
L1i3t753er’ll'l’3.ViVlsll]ml;:CelggId0Wn and become a good, sober
. f . '
9" Oh, don‘t, tir. Pad 1" moaned the old man.
“ Where is her I'll like see him " I sol
watching their comical anguish for ll ‘ ‘ ' '