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[HATPPY DA'>YS.
T F1NNE3Xi<f31%‘"'“VXtAT1oN
TAKlN(l THINGS EASY
Author
“Simple Sam,
PART II.
By TOM TEASER
of “Finnegan the Boss,” “Finnepa7I’s Corner Grocery.
“I-our-1<'orty-Four." ‘,‘.Sucl: Quiz: Chaps,’
"Tim Finnegan, Esq.,"‘
“Charley Chinn,‘ em
The two barkers grabbed hold of Finne-
an.
ligcir tried to lead him in a different di-
11.
Finnegan and the alderman went on and rec o
soon struck a row of-cheap Dhotographic
galleries.
The barkers in front of these were out
seeking whom they might yank in and skin.
They were on the lookout for greenhorns,
loving young .couples, ‘anyone else
whom they could give the double shume.
Each waved his .trame of samples, and
rushed Finnegan on.
The alderman was highly amused.
Finnegan protested, but all in vain.
They had him fast.
One had him by the seat of his breeches.
The other held his arm.
i‘-.5.UGGi‘iS
- I’
PHOTOGRA PHV GALLERY.
r4 1 iX ' ‘
nu: Two lmlutlzns (:llAllDED HOLD oi-‘ FIXNEGAN.
‘ His FIIAME or snnruzs. AND RCSIIED rrxxsoax ox.
AMCSED.
“Ring de cane an’ yer kin have it,” trawl-
ed one of them. in stentorlan tones.
He did not need a megaphone, (or he had
a voice like a fog-horn with bronchial
pneumonia.
“Dis way to de razzle-dazzle! ” yelled an-
other, waving his arms frantically.
“Now, men, gents. here's where you set
the most for your money. ten cents for a
full size sausage an‘ 8 quart of sauerkraut.
Now then, gents, step up and save YETSGIVES
from starvation.
As Finnegan and the alderman approach-
ed they were spotted by two husky snielers
for rival Photograph galleries-
They were muscular. loud-voiced fellows.
with a lot of persuasion about t in.
They had their coats oil nady for busi-
ness, and had samples of the work done in
their respective establishments in their
hands. '
These they were ready to show to willing
or unwilling customers on the slightest pro-
vocation.
‘They quickly spotted the two straugbrs.
They did not.’ know that Finnegan and
Nolan‘ were steadies.
They regarded them as victims to be
grabbed, gagged, and rushed in. 7‘
"Have your pitchers taken, items. they
ordered, rather than asked“ as they SWODD‘
:1 the two.
ed owntlillgg? a quarter for the two. besg
in the wolld, no extra charge for groups.
..-1-M5 way, gents, this is the only tois
mighml ieguine gallery; dont mind that
GT3-0:3: listen to that lobster, this is the
..
only foist class gallery 011 "19 b93‘’ilh-tw0
‘Both barkers were read)‘ "3 F” 9
h?;it:ier of them wanted to have his pic:
""8 taken‘ th h t to speak
N l w . e rs -
--:33‘, la<i!on‘t want me pitcher took. but
me friend does.” he a
That was enough. .
31
FINKEGAX FROTESTED, hm.‘ ALL IN run.
“This way,” they howled.
This way meant two ways.
Finnegan was in danger oi being divided
against himself. -
“Howld on. howld on. let go av me! " he
yelled in apparent contradiction.
They were holding on all right.
And neither had any idea of letting go.
The alderman srinne like the ott-men-
tioned Cheshire cat. and thought this was
lots of fun.
Finnegan didn't. s
He dropped his hat, he was in danger of
having his trousers Iorn oil. and his dignity
was greatly insulte .
Let go av me, or 0i'll have re pulled!“
he yelled.
The barkers now tried to run him in dif-
ferent directions. '
They were equally strong. I
Not so were Finnegan's coat and trou-
s rs.
The sleeve of the former gave way. ‘
That gave the other barker the advan-
ta e.
The seat of Finnegan's trousers held,
The barker rushed him into the gallery
in triumph.
‘Dex-e youse are," he said. ‘llali’ a doz-
en cabinets for der gent, an’ make him
look handsome."
Finnegan caught a look of some of the
pictures already taken in the establishment.
They were the limit.
“Oi‘li not be but in any such rogue‘s
galleryws thim," he sputtered. ‘Do ye:
know who OI am 0l'm Boss Finnegan.
an‘ Oi will
They did not recognize the name. but
the tllle was something to command re-
EDEC
They had had bosses in that part of the
country before.
ny boss was bound to be reslmcted.
therefore.
And then in walked the alderman.
He thought the joke land gone far enough.
n
men TRIED ‘:0 LEAD 1113! ix ; oirrtatsr DlRECTl0X.
‘nu: A1.m:n.xtA.v was lIlGlI'LY
lie had'i-‘innegan'a hat and coat sleeve
with him. r- ‘
lie dashed his big diamond and dyed
mustache around the place. quite dimming
the electric lights, and grow dz
"Say. what are youse fresh guys doln'l
Don’: youse know dat dat‘s do boss? What
youse takln' his pitcher fur wii.‘nut ruin’
his privilege? Youse has got a gall.‘
The barker. the operator and the cashier
tell for the steer. and asked a thousand
pardons.
Or the would have done so if Finnegan
had waited.
One was enough ior him.
“Go to Texas!“ he sputtered ‘Sure yez
had it might to know that Oi‘d nlver let
me face he put in yer gallery av freaks."
Then be rushed out. followed by Nolan.
When he came out, Finnegan said to him:
“An phwativer did yez tell thlm Oi
wanted me pitcher tuck for. alderman?"
“Just for a kid," laughed Nolan, giving
him the wink.
"Sure it's ho lake to have me clothes lore
of! me,"rpro-
t h e
oss. ‘Dc
hivens. I feel
loike a ousted
ll "
tested
a .
“Dai.’s all
bark-
ers. I mean.”
chuckled No-
lan
0i
a
clothes. I t
that had been
won nv IKCY
R o senbloom's
siven doll.-Ar
outfits it wud
have been in
shreds.‘
“Well. do
pants held out
anyhow,” No-
(An.
more
sibi
swcred Finne.
gan, with.di;;-
“ tlllell. come
rzacn WAVED “H was 3
warm night.
and so Finne-
gan being in
his shirt sleeves, or partially so, attracted
no attention. -
e and Nolan passed safely between the
where they could enjoy something to drink
and a cigar, look at the moonlight, listen
to the splash of the waves, and not be
deafened by the band.
That was halt’ a mile
And when they went
dog to get kicked.
A day or two after this the Larry Mc-
Cues arrived, and took possession of the
ouse next door to Finnegan's.
There .were LarrY had his wife. Katie.
Mikey. a couple of sets of twins, Rosie,
Patsy. and the rest. quite enough to oil the
house and orertlow into the stree
Katie was Jerry Finnegan's steady.
She was a nice girl, and the Finnegans
liked her.
Tim and Larry could get on well enough
if they were let alone. but Julia liiccue was
A ilrebrand.
if there was any trouble within forty
miles she was sure to and .
She was red-beaded inside and out.
If there was no fuss in sight, she wmld
dig one up. -
For a Irouhle-hunter she would have been
a treasure to any gas‘company in the city.
She could'alwnys make trouble it there
was none to be found.
Even the plump Mrs. Finnegan. who was
naturally ot an easy-going nature, was
stirred up by her at times.
Katie and Jerry were not aiierled by the
lady's tlizhting spirit.
They kept away from her.
So did tarry and Timothy, Esq. when-
ever they could.
The worst of it with Larry was that ho
hnd to live with her. -
The rest rnulli escape her lnlklng. but he
had to take it in l:,Ir[:r- and Juicy chunks.
Larr)’. bt-in): n poliliclnn, had to put on
frills.
off.
home there was no
The day After his jl'fiV3l. he said to
Finnegan:
“Have Fez seen mo new autymobeel.
lml“
9
‘Sure a. horse car used to be good enough
for yet, phwin yet didn't, walls,‘ answered
Finnegan. with biting sarcasm.
"(:.omo‘ on out in it. Sure it runs beauti-
‘ls the missus goln‘l" asked Finnegan.
cautiously.
"No. she do be in the hands of her hair-
dresser the day.”
‘no she wear gloves!‘ significantly.
“life woile‘."'
“No, lbe hnlrdhresser. it uwld be wiser
unless her hands are hardened. Bugs. Lar-
r)'. bugs!”
lilccue spit on his hands, and gave a hike
at his trousers.
“Come on, Finn." said Nolan, who want-
ed to avoid war. 'Derc‘s no danger of her
blowin‘ up. I don‘: mean hire. liiccue-l
mean de auto.‘ '
‘Are yez lookln' (er a black oye?" de-
manded Larry. indisnantly.
Finnegan let himself he pgrsuaded not to
pulverlze liiccue.
“Sure Oi do rcmimber gain’ in wan
thlm infernal machines wansi, an‘ Oi rode
home in the ellrator railroad, hegob.'
‘Sure. but dat machine was on de blink.‘
said Nolan " is different. Larry's got
de real ting
So the party was made up. ,
There were liiccue, Finnegan, the alder-
man, and lliey Rosenbloom. who kept a
store in New York.
it was a slack time with him just now,
and he had come to l-‘lnn9g;in's to have a
little vacation and take things easy.
He had lnviled Miss Mulligan. his stead)’
company, to come and spend it with him.
This was meant an a happy surprise to Tim.
Neither had said a war to Finnegan
about paying board while they were lhere.
They simply meant to live on him to the
mix.
. that has nothing to do with
ri c
Larry hicCue ran the thing. and Fine-
gan. Nolan, and lkey am‘. in the rear seat.
trying to look like nililionatrmx.
it went all right till they were about two
miles from home, ullh nothing in sight but
a few stray goals. and n In! at czihbazos
protected by a barbed wire enre.
Then the thing suddenly refused to go
a cad. .
“Get a horse.‘ said Finnrgan. in dis-
“. . ,
‘if you come by my dcparinreut sinre in
New York. iscll you one sht-an." said lhey.
“Sell him .1 sheep.’ Sure ll‘: 3 horse he
wants." .
“ our in some oil. M<‘Cue," advised No-
‘‘()i think Oi‘ll gm. out an’ walk.” said
Finnegan. ‘Sure it's l>ii‘ailK0 yo: cudn‘t
shtop near the railroad station, Larry."
“'l'l)ni‘ll be all rolchi. Tim," cheerfully
snid hiccuo.‘ ‘Sure it‘ll an in a minyute.
Kape yer shirt on. me say old bucl:o."
"ll's lucky yer. didn't ax yer woiie to go
wld 3'92,“ growled Tim.-
“Shes ll('t>I1. an’ it always vrlnt fnino.."
“it wanted to set away from her.“ laugh-
ed Finnegan. “Annyihlm: wud run phwin
rhe comes around. Why dont yer git a
divorce, Larry?‘
ouse is a wise Ru)‘. l-‘inn; suppose
‘rouse look an‘ see what‘: tie nzatttr wit‘
L
Some oi the goals seemed to be interest-
ed. and had approached. .
‘Sure you know all about gas. Tim.” said
liiccue. ‘See av yet can locale the trou-
ble. We depinrl on ‘.
“ ‘ell. Oi'll lhry ann)'bow.' said Finne-
he got down on his hunkeys and
crawled under the machine to see what the
trouble was. ’
Not all of the way. however. .
lie left part of himself outside the wheels.
And one oi those wandering goats saw
the peculiar position. and took it as an
invitation to but! in.
Bill-bang-smash!
Caught in the rear Tim gave a yell and
a plunze.
And he went all the way under the ma-
chine.
Then that car began to chug-chug in the
most alarming fashion.
“ t that!” cried the alderman.
He was talking to the goat.
“Sure 0l'm thryin' to.“ said Finnegan, in
a muffled voice. "Phwat hit me. annyi
ow!‘
h
" lurry up. Finnegan,‘ cried‘ Larry.
“Sure Oi ran‘: llowld her in at all.‘
“Let me got out,‘ said H19)‘. '1 don't
want to he A witness to no accident.
couldn't close my store to go to the inkvest
-what?”
Nolan got out.
And grabbed lhe boss by the heels. and
gave a yank.
‘There. come out wit muse." he said, in
no gentle tone.
lie had a good hold. and he kept it. and
‘iiinrsnn cnnlr out.
And then. or course. the machine stop-
prd rhunglng.
“ 'vz can or yr-r onlui machine yerself.‘
growiml Finnegan. ‘Sure Oi swore Oi‘<l
nivert ‘go in wan av thim ngain. nil‘ Oi
“OH .
av’
x
