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v '.MARTIN.C.’11UZZL'E.W1T-‘ 1079
now. Oftenpanduoften have I,.heerd him .say,’, I says to
,Mrs.',Harris; fmeaning Mr.’ Gill,‘ that he would back his
'wife,agen ‘Moore-’s' ‘almanack,'to name the very, day ‘and
ihfiuiffqr i1inlep‘ence;fa’rd‘en." Is‘ it likelywma’am,’.I says,
‘as she'wil1 failfthiilionceli.’ ,,S‘ays Mrs. Harris, ‘,No,
.Ina'am,‘not in thecourse of natur. , But,’ she says, the
,‘,tears"a“filliii’,in“ ‘l1‘er,eyes‘,. "you knows much ‘betterer
jthan 1ne,",witli your experienge, how little puts us out.
"A Punch’s sh'o'w,’ she says," ‘ a chimbley sweep, a new.
ifundlan dog, or 'a drunkin man adcomin’ round the cor-
.Jf1i:er:sharp, may do it.’ So it may, Mr. Sweedlepipes,”
“said,Mrs..Ga‘mp, “there no deniging of it ;, and though
- niybooks isvclearfor full a’ week, I takes a anxious art
along with me, I do assure you, sir.”
;;,,‘,“.You’re so full of zeal, you see I ” said Poll.
,worrit yourself so.” A p
;'f.,;“ .VVprrit myself I" cried Mrs. Gamp, raising her
[hiands and turning up herpeyes. “You speak the truth
in"that,"s‘i'r, if you never speaks no more, ’twixt this
andwhenytwo Sundays jines together. I feels the suf-
ferins of other people more than I feels my own, though
nopne mayn’t suppoge it. The families l’ve had,” said
“M.ijs.’Ga'inp,l“ if all was knowd,.and credit done where
’credit’s"doo, wouldtake apweek to‘chris’en at St. Polge’s
fontin I” f ' . . g
1 3‘, VVhere’s the patient goin ‘I” asked Sweedlepipe.
.,'Ii,f’,Ir1't,o Har’foi-dsliire, which is his native air. But na-
ttive airs nor native graces neither,” Mrs. Gamp observed,
)"‘ won't bring him round." , . I
ffdso bad as that?” inquired the wistful barber. “ Iii-
fee‘ 1" ' y .
H , Mrs. Gamp shook her ‘head mysteriously, and pursed
,.1lp her," lips. ' “ There’s fevers of the mind,” she said,
,‘.‘,as well as body. You may take your slime drafts till
.,you fliesirito’ the air with eiierwesence ; but you won't
:ppre‘tliat.3’, 7,, f, , , ,, . . ,
., ,“Ah'l”said the barber, opening his eyes, and putting
..9.!i his raven aspect ; ff Lor I ” ’
“ You
., ,.‘
“No. You may make yourself-aslight as any gash
balloon,” said Mrs. Gamp.“ “But talk, When )'0l1’Y0
“wrong in your head, and when.yoii’re in your sleep, of
certainthings ; and you’ll be heavy in your mind.” .
: ,,..‘.‘ Of what kind of things now?” inquired Poll, greedily
nails iril his gritlaat inlteaeslt. “ Clihoslts it” t d
.,, rs. am , w 0 er a s ia eenarea y empe
further'tlianpshe hald intephded to -go, by the barber’s
.stimulating curiosity, gavega-sniff. of uncommon signifi-
"canoe, and said,‘it didn’t signify. , ,
‘.',..','‘‘,I’m'a going down with my patient in the coach this
"ii-ter'noon,’.’ [she trplcieeded. H; j‘ I’m a going to(3top tilyliith
im‘a”(lay or so, i re gets a country nuss rat em
‘country nusses, much-the 0l‘ki1l‘(:l;llllSSl8S knows about
their bis’ness)‘; and then I’m comin’ back; and that’s
‘my trouble,'Mr.,Sweedlepipcs. But I hope that every-
think‘1l only go on lrliglht and Bcfomfflrtahlc as lonfg asrlyrlxi
awn ; erwisin,-w ic , as rs. arris says, rs. 1
:is',ivi=:IcoIine to cheese her own time : all times of the day
,and night beinfeqlually the same tome.” ‘ i
‘I f During heprogress of the foregoing remarks, which
Mrs. Gamphad addressed exclusively to the barb-er, Mr.
;Bailey"had ‘been tying his cravat, gettin on .1115 COM.
;and making hideous facesat himself in tie glass. Be-
Viag nonnpersonally. addressed by Mrs. Gamp, he turned
round,‘ and mingled in the conversation. ,. ' .
Z,“ You ain't been in the city, I suppose, Ell‘, since we
,$"1Is all three there together,” said.Mrs. Gamp, “ at Mr.
‘,Cl.'!u‘z2lew1't'S?” W 4 . ‘ ,
34.: ‘.‘ Yes I,l1ave, Sairah. I was there .last night.’
' “Lastinightll” cried the barber. V .. . I .
,,“ yes, P911, ,1-egthpr so.‘ Ion can call 1-t.tl1lS,ln0l'l]1llg
if youlike to be particular,‘L 11% dined X;)1tl1‘l]1S. Y’ rd
“VVho ’doe’s“tliat' 'ounn" im mean y ius ’ sai
‘Mrs. Gamp, with mag imiratient emphasis.
:' ,.“,Me and my ‘Governor, Sairah. He dined at our
house. ‘Ye wos very merry, Sairah. , So muchrso, that
I Jyas ‘obliged to‘ see him home in a hacl:ney.coach.at
Jhree o'clock in the morning”. It was on the tip‘ of the
boy’s tongue to relate what hadfollowed ; but remem-
.bcring ‘howleasily itmight be carried to h1s.mastcr’s
cars, and the repeated cautions he ll0.d'll9.(l. from Mr.
;Crirnple“‘not to chatter,” he, checkedhimself : adding
girl)‘, ‘.‘.She was sitting‘up,'expccting him.” .,
L;
“And allgthings considered,” said Mrs. Gampsharply,
“ she might haveknowd better than to go a tiring her-
self out, by doin’ anythink of the sort. Did they seem
pretty pleasant together, sir?”
“ Oh yes,” answered Bailey, “pleasant enough.”
5‘ I'm glad on it,” said Mrs. Gamp, with a second sniff
of significance. p g A J
“ They haven't been married so long,” observed Poll,
rubbing his hands, “that they need be anything‘ but
pleasant yet awhile.” ‘
“ N 0,” said Mrs. Gamp, with a third significant signal.
“Especially,” pursued the barber, “ when the gentle-
man bears such a character as you gave him.” V.
“I speak as I find, Mr. Sweedlepipes,” said Mrs.
Gamp. “ Forbid itshould be otlierways I But we never
knows wot’s hidden in each other's hearts; and if we
had glass winders there, we’d need to keep the shutters
up, some onus, I do assure you I’’ ‘
“ Butyou don’t mean to say ”-Poll Sweedlepipe began.
“No,” said Mrs. Gamp, cutting him very short, “ I
don’t. Don’t think I do. The torters of the Imposition
shouldn't, make me own I did. All I says is,” added the
good woman rising and folding her shawl about her,
“that the Bull’s a waitin’, and the precious moments is a
iiyin’ fast.” .
The little. barber having in his eager curiosity a great
desire to see Mrs. Gainps patient, proposed to Mr. Bailey
that they-should accompany her to the Bull, and witness
the departure of the coach. That young gentleman
assenting, they all went out together.
Ar-n'ving at the tavern, Mrs. Gamp (who was full-
dressed for the journey, in her latest suit of mourning)
left her friends to entertain themselves in the yard.
while she ascended to the sick room, where her fellow-
labourer Mrs. Prig was dressing the invalid.
Ile wasvsowasted, that it seemed as if his bones would
rattle when they moved him. His cheeks were sunken,
and his eyes unnatuially large. lie lay back in the easy
chair like one more dead 1 ran living; and rolled his
languid eyes towards the door, when Mrs. Gamp appeared,
as painfully as if their weight alone were burdensome
to move. '
“ And how are we by this time ‘I” Mrs. Gamp observed.
“ VVe looks charming.” . ;
“ Ve looks a deal charminger than we are, then,"
returned Mrs. Prig, a little chafed in her temper. “ VVe
got out of bed back’ards,I think, for we’re as cross as
two sticks. 1 never see sich a man. He wouldn’t have
been washed, if he’d had his own way.” . .
“ She put the soap in my mouth," said the unfortu-
natc patient, feebly. ,
“ Couldn’t you keep it shut then ?” retorted Mrs. Prig.
“ ‘Vino do you tliink’s to wash one feater, and miss
another, and wear one’s eyes out with all manner of fine
work of that description, for luilf-a-crown a day I If you
wants to be tittivated, .you must pay nccordin.”
“Oh dear me !-” cried the patient, “ oh dear, dear If’
“There I” said Mrs. Prig, “ that’s the way he’s been
a conducting of himself, Sarah, ever since I got him out
of bed, if you’ll believe it.”
“ Instead of being grateful,” Mrs. Gamp observed,
“for all>our little ways. Oh, tie for shame, sir, tie for
shame !” " '
Here Mrs. Prig seized the patient by the chin, and
began to rnsp his unhappyhead with a hair-brush.
‘,‘ I suppose you don’t like that, neither l” she observed, ‘
stopping to look at him. ;
It was just ssiblethat he didn’t, for the brush was a
specimen of t ie hardest kind of instruments producible
by modern art ; and his very eye-lids were red with the
friction, Mrs, Prig was gratified to observe the correct-
ness of her supposition, and said triumphantly, “she
knowd as much.” , I . a
When his hair was smoothed down comfortably into
his eyes, Mrs. Prig and Mrs. Gnmpput on ,his.necker-
chief: adjusting his shirt collar with rent nicety, so
that the starched points ‘should also inva be those organs,
and nfllict thcrm with an artificial optlialmia. His waist.
coat and coat were next arranged ; and as every button
was wienched into a wrong button-hole, and the order
of his ‘boots was reversed, he presented on the whole
rather a melancholy. appearance.