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I.‘
- “Shabby l " ‘
< or‘-“LITTLE“DORRIL7i“‘<l r
rson,rMr.'Pancks-further astoundedand‘ attracted the
leeding Hearts by saying in an audiblewoice; ’,‘.‘:Now‘,
you sugary swindler, I mean to have it outwith you I”:
-Mr.‘-Pancks and the Patriarchwere instantly theicenl
tre of a press,’ all eyes: and ears; windows were"thrown
openiand doorsteps were thronged. , J‘. ', . r ‘ 1 . jg
, .‘f VVhnt’do ‘ you -pretend‘ to be?” said. Mr."Pancks.
“ VVhat’s -your moral‘ game? e .lVhat do you go-. in for?
Benevolence, un’t‘it?‘ YOU benevolent l’? 4 Here-Mr.
Paucks, apparentlywithout the intention of hitting him,
butrnerely to relieve his’ mind and expend his superflui
ous :p'ower in'wholesome veixercise, aimed a blow at the
bumpy head, which ;the -bumpy head’ ducked to avoid.
Thisgsingularperformance‘ was-‘repeated, to the:ever
increasing: admiration of the‘ spectators, atthc, 'end of
ever-yrsucceeding article of Mr. Pancks’s oration. ; .
“I have discharged myself,-from your service,’.’.'said
Pancks, “ that I may tell you what you are. You’re‘ono
of a‘ lot of impostors that are the worst lot of all thelots
to be,met with.’ ‘Speaking as a suffererby both. I don't
knoW’that I .wouldn’t‘ as ‘soonvhave the. Merdle lot as
your lot. ‘You’re a‘ driver in disguise, a screwer by, dep-
uty, a wringer, and squeczer, and shaver by substitute.
You’re ravphilanthropicrsneak. 7- ’ You’ro a shabby de-
ceiver!"> ,2‘ ' ' “ - 1
-v(’l‘he repetition of theperformance at this point was
received with ‘a burst oflaughten) W - V’ - > 1 g ‘ '.
rr “Ask these good people who's the‘hard man here.
They'll tell you Pancks, I believe.” 1 . 1 ’ -
s This -was -confirmed, with cries-of .“ Certainly,” and
“He'arl”v"" I" t- -
v"‘But -I tell you, good .people-Casby l - This mound
of meekness,-this lump of love, this bottle-green smiler,
this is your driver l” said Pancks. “ If you want to see
the man who would-iiay your alive-'-here -he‘ is I Don't
look for him in me, at‘ thirty shillings a-week,,but look
forhim in Casby, at I don’t know how much a-year l” ’
“ Good I". cried several voices. r “ Hear Mr. Pancks l’,’
V “Hear Mr.'Pancks‘?” cried that-gentleman (after re-
peatin'g'the"popular performance); “:Yes,' I should think
so! - It’s almost time to he Mr; Pancks. ‘ ->Mr. Pancks
has 'come down into the Yard to-night, on purpose that
you should hear him. ' Pancks is only the lVorks ; ‘but
here's the VVinderl” " 1-rm -. . ’ '
v The audience would have gone over to Mr. Pancks,-as
one man, woman,’ and child, but for the long, grey, silk-
en locks,’ and the broad-brimmed hat.: ‘ r : ’
A “Here's the-Stop," said -Pancks,',“that sets the tune
to be ground.’ And there is but one tune, and its name
is Grind, Grind; Grind If Here's the ‘Proprietor,’ and
here’s his Grubber.. 5VVhy, good people, when he comes
smoothly "spinning? through the Yard to-night, like a
slow-going benevolent Humming-Top.’ and ‘when I you
mine -about himwith yourrcomplaints of the Grubber,
you don’t know what a cheat‘ the Proprietor: is I What
do think of‘l1is"sl1owing himselt"to-night, that ’I may
have allrthe blame on Monday? W'hat do you think of
his having had me over the coals this very evening, be-
cause I'don’t'squceze’ you’ enough ?- 'VVhat do you think
of my beinggat the present moment, under special orders
‘tosqueeze you, dry on‘Monday‘."’ " ' , '- - V -
r The reply was glven'in‘a murmur ‘of “Sl1amo l” and
4., ‘l,'..,. ,, ' ‘,,’7 7-,.-t - ‘
, “Shabby?” snorted Pancks. “Yes, I should think
sol 'Tlic lot that yoiir.Ca‘sby belongs to, is the shabbiest
of allrthe lots.‘ Setting their Grubbers on,‘at a wretched
pittance, to dowhat they're ashau1ed,and afraid .to do
andpretend not to do,‘but what they will have done, or
give ‘a, inan‘no’ rest! Imposing on you to give ‘their
Grubbers nothing but blame, and togivo them nothing
but credit! VVny, the' worst-looking’ cheat ‘in all this
town who gets the value ofkeigliteenpence under-false
prctences,’an’t half suchla cheat as this sign-post of The
Casbyvs Headhere 1"’ .. i V. I ., , . ," = . a . .‘ 2.!
r-Criesof “That's true I’' and “No more he an't?" -
"And see What you get of these fellows, besides,” said
I’ancks.- >“See what vmore ‘you get of 'these -precious
Humming-Tops, revolving -among youwith such smooth-
ness that ou’ve no idea of the pattern painted on ‘em,-
or the litt eiwindow in 'em I‘ I wish to“call your atten-
tion to myself for amomcnt. ‘I an’t an ‘agreeable style‘
of chap, Iknow that very 'vell.”, - " " ' ‘ t ' - ‘
941
p .The auditory'we‘re'divided on this point ; its more un-:
compromising members, crying, “No you are not," and
its politer materials,'.“,Yes, you are.’,’ fr " ‘ . ,1; ,‘ 2: -..'
‘ “ I am, in general,” said Mr. Pancks, “a dry, uncom-
fortable, dreary Plodder and, Grubber. That’s your
humble servant. There’s his full-length portrait, paint-
ed by himself and presented.to younwarranted a like-
ness ! But what’s"a man to be,‘ with such a man as this
for his Proprietor? ‘Vhat. can be expected of him?
Did anybody ever find boiled mutton and caper-sauce
growing in a cocoa-nut?’’' :' ' ‘L ;; “ :.- > r e ,f ; ;-;: .'
.' None of the Bleeding Hearts‘ ever had, it was‘ clear
from the alacrity of their response. I .. . ,5
2 .-“ lVell,” said M1f.‘Pancks,:“ and neither will on find in
Grubbers like myself, under Proprietors‘ like t is,.pleas-
‘ ant qualities. I’re beena Grubber ‘from a boy. ' W'hat
has my life been 1, Fag and grind, fag and grind, turn
the wheel,‘ turn the wheel ll '1 haven’t been agreeable to
myself, and I haven’t been likely to be agreeable to any-
body‘else.' If I was a shilling a week less. useful in ten
years’ time, this impostor .WOl.1ld ‘ve me a shilling a
week less; if "as useful a man coultfbe got at ‘sixpence
cheaper, he‘ would “be ’taken in my placeat sixpcnce
cheaper. -’ Bargain andrsale; bless you! -Fixed princi-
ples! Itsis .a: mighty, fin'e:.sign.post,. is The Casby’s
Head,” said’ Mr; Pancksgsurveying it with anything
rather than admiration;v“but the real name of’ the
House’ is The Sham’s Arms; ,It’s'motto is, Keep the
Grubber always at it. v Is any gentleman present,” said ’
Mr.’ Pancks; breaking off and looking round, -“ acquaint-
ed with the English Grammar??? 7‘. '; :. f V 1"‘ 3 r ‘ ;'
-‘ wBleeding‘ Heart; Yardr was shy cf claiming that-ace
quaintance; "-:'?E .' 7 > r‘ " in ' - '1 ;
::“It’s no matter,” said Mr.‘Panclrs; u‘.‘I merely wish
to remark vthatrthe‘ task this Proprietor ‘has setgme, has
been, never to leave ‘oil conjugating the Imperative
Mood,’ Present Tense of theycrb To keep‘ always at it;
Keep thou always at it." Let‘him keep ‘always at it.
Keep we‘or do we keep always at it. Keep ye or do ye
or you keep always at it. -Let them keep always at it.
Here is your benevolent Patriarch of ‘a Casby,‘ and ‘there
is ‘ his golden rule.‘ A He is uncommonly‘ improving to
look at, and I am not at all so. 2 He is as sweet as bone ,
and I am as dull as ditch-water- He providcsthe pitc 1,
and I handle it, and it sticks to me. Now,” said Mr.
Pancks, closing upon his late .-Proprietor again. from
whom he had withdrawn 1). little for the. better display
of him to the Yard ; “ as I am not accustomed to speak in
public, and as I have made a rather lengthy speech, all
circumstances considered, 1 shall bring my observations
to a close by re nesting you to get out of this.” ’ : : -
' Tho'Last of -t o Patriarchs had been so seized by as
sault,‘ and‘ required so much room’ to “catch an idea in,
and ‘so much more room to turn it in, that he had ‘not a
word to offer. in reply. He appeared -to be meditating
some Patriarchal way out of his delicate position, when
Mr. Pancks, once more suddenly applying the trigger to
his hat, shot it oif again with his former dexterity. On
the preceding occasion, one or two'of the Bleeding Heart
Yarders had obsequiously picked it up and handed it to
-its owner ;' but, Mr.‘Pancl;s had now so for-impressed
his ‘audience, that the Patriarch ,had to turnrand stoop
forithimselfp ’ <” ' ' .‘ 3' w
- Quick as ‘lightning, M1-.4Pancks, who, for some mo-
ments,1hnd had his right hand inhis coat poclwt. W11iPI>C‘d
out a pair of shears, swooped upon fthe Patriarch behind,
and snipped. ofl"short,. the sacred locks that flowed upon
his shoulders. : In a paroxysm of animosity and rapidity,
Mr. ‘Pancks -then"caught' the broad-brimnicdahatout
of the astounded Patriart-h’s hand,-cut-it downtinto
it)‘ mere stewpau,' and“ Iixedxit. on‘ the’ Patriarelfs
ead. .,. ,,“v ‘ - ‘I
‘ -‘Befo're:the' frightful results of .'this desperate action;
Mr. Pancksl himself recoiled in consternation.’ ‘A bare-
polled, goggle-eyed, big-headed, vlumbering personage
stood staring atrhim,-not in the least impressive, not in
the least venerable"; who seemed to have started out of
the earth to ask whatwas become of Casby, After star-
ing at this phantom in return, in silent -awe, Mr. Pancks
threw down his shears, andlled tfora place of hiding,
where homight lie sheltered from the consequences of
his crime. Mr. Pancks deemed it prudent to use all pos-