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‘0 UR. MUTUAL ,1w12IL'ND‘.:
younrr gentleman must indubitablyibe Veneering’s oldest
frien s. wVVards of his, perhaps? Yet that can scarcely
be, for they are older than himself. .Veneering has been
in their confidence throu hout; and has done'much to
lure them to the altar. c has mentioned to Twemlow
howihee said to Mrs. ‘Veneering. “ Anastatia, this - must
be a match.” “He has mentioned to Twemlow how he
regards Sophronia Akersham (the mature young lady) in
the:light of a sister, and Alfred Lammle (the mature
voung gentleman) in-the light of a brother Twemlow
has asked him whether he went to school as a junior
with Alfred ‘I ‘ He has answered, .“ Not exactly.” VVhether
Sophronia was adopted by his mother? : He has an-
swered,’ “ Not precisely so.” 'I‘wemlow’s hand has gone
to his forehead with a lost air. ‘A 7 V
But two or three weeks ago, Twemlow, sitting over
his newspaper, and over his dry-toast and weak tea, and
over the stable-yard in Duke Street, St. J ames’s, received
a highly-perfumed cocked-hat and monogram from Mrs.
Veneering, entreating her dearest Mr. 'I‘., if not particu-
larly engaged that day, to come like a charming soul
and make a fourth at dinner with dear Mr. Podsnap, for
the discussion of an interesting family topic; the last
three words doubly underlined and pointed with a note
of admiration. And Twemlow replying, “ Not engaged,
and’ more than delighted,” goes, and this takes
place: i -
“My dear 'I‘weinlow,” says Veneering, “ your ready
response to Anastatia’s unceremonious invitation is truly
kind, and like an old, old friend. You know our dear
friend Podsnap? ” '
Twemlow ought to know the dear friend Podsnap who
covered him with so much confusion, and he says he
does know him, and Podsnap reciprocates. Apparently
Podsnap has been so wrought upon in a short time, as to
believe that he has been intimate in the house many,
many, many years. I In the friendliest manner he is
making himself quite at home with his back to the fire,
executing a statuette of the Colossus at Rhodes. Twem-
low has before noticed in his feeble way how soon the
Veneering guests become infected with the Voneering
fiction. Not, however, that he has the least notion of its
being his own case.
“ Our friends Alfred and Sophronia,” pursues Veneer-
ing the veiled prophet: “our friends Alfred and Soph-
ronia, you will be glad to hear, my dear fellows, are go-
ing to be married. As my wife and I make it a family
affair the entire direction of which we take upon our-
selves, of course our first step is to communicate the
fact to our family friends.
("Oh l” thinks Twemlow, with his eyes on Podsuap,
“ then there are only two of us, and he’s the otl1er.”)
“'1 did hope," Veneering goes on, “to have had Lady
Tippins to meet you ; but she is always in request, and
is unfortunately engaged.”
(‘‘Oh i” thinks Twemlow, with his eyes wandering,
“then there are three of us, and she’s the other.’’)
“Mortimer Lightwood,” resumes Veneering, "whom
you both know, is out of town: but he writes, in his
whimsical manner, that as we ask him to be the bride-
groom’s best man when the ceremony takes place, he
will not refuse, though he doesn’t see what he has to do
with it.” -
(“ Oh I” thinks Twemlow, with his eyes rolling, “ then
there are four of us, and he's the other.”)
“Boots and Brewer,” observes Veneering, “ whom
you also know, I have not asked to-day; but I reserve
them for the occasion.”
(" Then,” thinks Twemlow, with his eyes shut, “there
are si ” But here collapses and does not completely
recover until dinner is over andrthe Analytical has been
requested to withdraw.) ' . '
“lVe now come,” says Veueering, "to the point, the
real point, of our little family consultation. Soplironia,
having lost both father and mother, has no one to give
her away.” g .
“ Give her away yourself,” says Podsnnp. g
“My dear Podsnap, no. For three reasons.‘ Firstly.
‘because ‘I couldn’t take so much upon myself when I
have respected family friends to remember. Secondly,
because I am not so vain as to think that I look ‘the part.
Thii-dly, because Anastatia is a little superstitious on
‘380
the subject, and feels averse to my giving away anybody
until baby is old enough to be married.” I 1 , .
-' “.What would happen if he did? ’? Podsnap inquires
of Mrs. Veneering. . r : ; .: ‘A . . -
i “ My dear Mr. Podsnap, it’s very foolish I know, but I
have an instinctive presentiment that if. Hamilton gave
away anybody else first,’ he:wouldi never give away
baby.’.’ 'I‘husvMrs.. Veneeringl; with .her open hands
pressed together, and each of er eight aquilineiingers
looking so‘ veryslike her one aquilinev nose that the
bran-new jewels on them seem necessary for distinc-
tion’s sake. I ., , g .
“But, my dear Podsnap,f’ quoth Veneering, “there is
a tried friend of our family who, I think and hope you
will agree with me,IPodsnap, is the friend Join whom
this agreable dutyvalmostnaturally devolves. That
friend,” saying the words as if the company were about
a hundred and fifty in number, “is now among us.- That
friend is Twemlow.” I - -, 4
“ Certainly I” From Podsnap.
“That friend,” Veneering repeats withrgreater firm-.
ness “is our dear good Twemlow. And I cannot, suffi-
ciently express to you, my dear Podsnap, the pleasure I
feel in having this opinion of mine and Anastatia’s so
readily confirmed by you, that other equally familiar
and tried friend who stands in the proud position-I
mean who proudly stands in the position-or.I ought
rather to say, who places Anastatia and myself in the
proud position of himself standing in the simple position
-of baby’s godfather.” And, indeed, Veneering is much
relieved in mind to find that Podsnap betrays no jealousy
of '1‘wemlow’s elevation.
So, it has come to pass that the spring-van is strewing
flowers on the rosy hours and on the staircase, and that
Twemlow is surveying the ground on which he is to
play his distinguished part to-morrow. He has already
been to the church, and taken note of the various ini-
pediments in the aisle, under the auspices of an ex-
tremely drenry widow who opens the pews, and whose
left hand appears to be in a. state of acute rheumatism,
But is in fact voluntarily doubled up to act as a money-
ox.
And now Veneering shoots out of the Study wherein
he is accustomed, when contemplative, to give his mind
to the carving and gilding of the Pilgrims going to Can-
terbury, in order to show Twemlow the little flourish he
has prepared for the trumpets of fashion, describing
how that on the seventeenth instant, at St. James’s
Church, the Reverend Blank Blank, assisted by the
Reverend Dash Dash, united in the bonds of matrimony,
Alfred Lammle, Esquire, of Sackville Street, Piccadilly,
to Sophrouia, only daughter of the late Horatio Alter-
shem, Esquire, of Yorkshire. Also how the fair bride
was married from the house of Hamilton Veneering,
Esquire, of Stucconia, and was given away by Melvin
Twemlow, Esquire, of Duke Street, St. James’s, second
cousin to Lord Snigswortli, of Snigsworthy Park. lVliile
perusing which composition, Twemlow makes some
opaque approach to perceiving that if the Reverend
Blank Blank and the Reverend Dash Dash fail, after
this introduction, to become enrolled in the list of
Veneering’s dearest and oldest friends, they will have
none but themselves to thank for it.
After which, appears Soplironia (whom Twemlow has
seen twice in his lifetime), to thank Twemlow for counter-
feiting the late Horatio Akershem, Esquire, broadly of
Yorkshire. And after her, appears Alfred (whom 'I‘wcm- -
low has seen once in his lifetime), to do the same and to
make a pasty sort of glitter, as if he were constructed
for candlelight only, and had been let out into daylight
by some grand mistake. And after that comes Mis.
Veneering, in a pervadingly aquilino state of figure, and
with transparent little knobs on her teinper, like the
little transparent knob on the bridge of her nose, “ iVorn
out by worry and excitement,” as she tells her dear Mr.
Twemlow, and reluctantly revived with curaqon. by the
Analytical. And after that, the bridesmaids begin to
come by railroad from various parts of the country, and
to come like adorable recruits enlisted by a sergeant not
present; for, on arriving at the Veneering depot, they
are in a barrack of strangers. ’
So, Twemlow goes home to Duke Street, St. James 3,