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TAR ACY TON TIS
GHIGAGO [EDGER
(Copyright, 1919, by W. D. Boyce Co.
VOL. XLVIL, SEPT. 27, 1919. NO. 39,
ered as second-class matter June 24, °
185, eat the postofilce at Chicago, Illinois,
der act of March 3, 1879.
’ Published Every Saturday
W. D. BOYCE CO., CHICAGO, ILL.
500-514 North Dearborn Street,
SCRIPTION BATES.
5U ES.
Single subscriptions to the Chicago Ledger
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eight months, alt sponths 75 conte, in advance.
emittances sho’ be de by Ban rat!
Registered Letter, Postofice or Express Money
Order, payable to the Chicago Ledger. Thi
addr on your the date
paper shows
to which your subscription is paid.
Single copies. 5
BACK NUMBERS.
Back numbers of Led promp pity
matled. Always give the dates desire plainly
- written,
scsompacted by your full address,
rice & cents per co
ADVERTISING RATES.
Display, $2.45 ech 4 te Line; for
Classified, 30 cents a re r insertion for
eirculation of the C Teago Pedger and The
Baturday Blade combined.
GENTLE JABS..
Cannibals and politicians live off other
people.
The patch is likely to come off in a
patched up quarre
.
the mother always has an excuse
for the juvenile terror. :
Every married man is in favor of a
heavy tax on bachelors.
Matrimony has cured many an old
bachelor of selfishness.
Our idea of a wise girl is one who
can’t sing and knows it.
When in need-of a good line of talk,
_ patronize a telephone company.
If a young man means half. he says
during courtship the girl 1s lucky.
Our idea of a hopeless liar fs a person
who says he never makes mistakes,
And the green grocer is In a ppsition
to acquire a lot of ripe experience.
If people were given all they pray for
tha world would have to be enlarged.
Honesty Between husbands and wives
is the best Insurance against divorce.
Many a man climbs the ladder of fame
only to be rewarded with a good hard
fall,
Some men worry because they have no
work and some others worry because
they have.
a
Some contrary people would rather
have a pint of trouble than a bushel of
happiness.
To the youth in love whose salary is
39 a week an icecream sign looks like
a nightmare. ~
Never is the weather so bad that the
oldest inhabitants can’t remember when
it was worse.
. —_
After reciting ‘Curfew Shall Not Ring
Tonight” a school girl imagines she is a
born elocutionist.
It takes a hustler to distihgulsh the
difference between an obstacle and a hin-
drance in his path.
A man seldom realizes what
‘world this is until his creditors begin
making it hot for him.
It is almost as easy to pick the wrong
.woman for a wifg as it is to pick the
wrong horse in a race.
No mancan tell what two women really
think of each other by their actions
when they are together.
———___——
There’s much to be said on both sides
when a woman attermpts to write a letter
on a single sheet of paper.
It ts never safe to Judge a woman's
courage by the way ‘she manages to
avoid an interview with a mouse.
The man who comes out best in a per-
sonal encounter with a cyclone never
agaln speaks of “trifles Nght as air.”
A man should devote at least half of
his time to-minding his own business
and the remainder to letting others
alone, ,
CHICAGO LEDGER
Ye Editor “Walt Mason’s” His Grievance
A gink with pipe must havea 1
The Editor comes in ae work.
8 AL The Ad. man comes; forgot his charts—
The clock
He sits him down, and quip and quirk :
Ooze forth. Upon the stem The pressroom foreman wants to know
What date “Lone Scout” will carry—
of his old pipe he chews and bites. “Is such wo thing known as a White
Another idea striki
nm his machine he pounds and ‘writes.
His ‘words o'erflow- their dikes.
From Blade Ed comes the query.
Affairs calm down; then Andre Bowles
Comes in with next, week’s ~
On top of that the mail girl doles
The editor his part
But, at the height of his fine-talk,
‘he morning fun begins.
we Ed, the world conspires to balk;
Ye Devil grins and grins. Of 40. letters, short and long.
Replies must go by noon.
The office boy comes first of all: “4 up”
“Some letters I shall mail?” Somes as make-up” then goes
The typist lets a Pastepot fall. “Come quick!” Thus “goes the tune.
A man begins to nai
LENVO!:
If all the men, who daily stop”
Ye Editor's mental loom,
Married the women who daily “pop
In and out of his private room
A board upon the nelghboring Toot,
His hammer clefts the air,
A blacksmith pounds on equine hoof
Across the street from where
Ye Ea tn cesperation sweats
To hold his ideas tight:
An artist comes; he hunts and gets
A pen he left last night. And the children from that | union
great
An author, one arm full of scripts,
In one vast space were forced tov
Steps in and asks a reading,
He shumes *round and licks his lps, tay,
e Ed's work quite unheeding.
a ding. We'd haze another American State,
Called Ledgermania, U.’
a a
‘The Creator of Keeneyes
Something About J. Breckenridge Ellis
BY HIMSELF ,
Tt takes some time this gink to move,
ut
At once. He tries to learn
Where he broke off; but bopeless quite,
A Jong procession starts
EN I was a child I was in despair right. on with m
at finding that my companions conid searching the clover Protto, laboriously
without effort or painful searching find .ers seemed to find with a blink of their
four-leaf clovers along the roadside— eyes at the edges of any sidewalk, When
which everybody knows bring all sorts I was 32 my first novel to be issued with
of good luck—the clovers, Imean. I was illustrations came out, and when I was
in my twentles and had never in my life 41 I beheld my first to
met with this blessed experience, yet it Pictures in colors by
seemed to me that if anybody needed a am not superstitions,
good streak of luck it was One 4 good plan to count to a.certain number
day I determined to overcome this handi- —no matter what number—before mak-
cap.” I went to the college campus, where ing a jump, because
there was an enormous_bed of white reach that number, that you're going.
clover; I kegan at oné edge of it, and I For instance, before getting out of bed
went over,that field plant by plant till in the winter time I used always to count
at iast I had my reward. ‘our-leaf up to “twelve,” and at “twelve” the c
clover suddenly waved before my eyes €rs had to fly. ell, my twelfth novel
and nestled In my hand, the first my eyes Was published fa 1912, Its
had ever beheld not gathered or pointed “Fr: and proved to be the Dest
out by somebody else. seller in the*United States.
n I was a child, earlier than I can hen
Oy bine stories, ani
aty:
This day I have deciied to be a literary
gentleman”—meaning that that was to
be my definite life work. Then I besan
sending manuscripts to papers and ma: ave now had twe =
zines. I expected many a morning to publishea and am senate toe |
en my eyes and find myself famous; the list shortly. to
but I couldn't see any four-leaf clovers. that holds my works,
I made up my mind from the beginning 4re illustrated. After twe
to try for every literary prize offered, unceasing endeavor, t
o send to every magazine and publisher CePted for publication. given
of note, to neglect no opportunity that &fter eleven lean, hard years. that books
ive up while there’s a chance
Chances to fail were so plentiful Othat “y book and discovered
“never cated to her; it
up. When I was 2
Journal accepted a mystery story, the as to have thre
first of my writings for which I received shed all in the same year, one fn Phil
pay. It was 160,000 words long, and” ‘¢Iphia, one in New York, one in Chica, oO:
prizes were offered to those guessing 4nd the e day I took my mother the letter
closest to the solution in the final chap-~ telling us that “Fran” was the te
ter, The one coming nearest recelved s selling book In America. est=
$1,000 pia The story was ue in abou I do not tel!
twenty installments, It was so well res self, but to Jee eae things to laua my~
d that in later years I “learned that may be discouraged td kee
2 baby had been named in honor of its trying.
. My firs
in the Chicago Ledger appeared it Serial
with a pen, hen I wae 28, my next In all, twenty-five 1904.
literary triumph ‘vas a Bible eee pub- in, this magazine, aN but aes rata
e
shed in book form. It bro
few dollars. Then ‘appeared ny novel Just think of that!
in New York City, “Shem.” But its pub- written and printed ab,
lishers went into bankruptcy and my my readers jeu Willing te neeyes &
royalties came to $1.43.. ButI kept words fnore cara tew
A Slow Process, .
BROWN was at the back of the
‘Spoilea Tt All
RS, ;PHEY had been dint
Mie church waiting to have her baby /* dinin, car. Htusb: an 2 State in the
hristened. Baby wag getting restless, teacher of English,
so she beckoned the verger. ughter had. beha was ooo tportecni®
: y.
“Is the sermon nearly fintshed?” she Mother, also, w:
whispered. a te in ‘a ha
a here, were numerou
Seto, um.” reptied the verger, “an- Giners if the car and the parents eee
uN noe hour of it yet. He’s only on Proud of their child. Not a single thing
eee had happened to mar the serenity of
“But,” said Mrs. Brown, “will it take the occasfon,
him halt an hour to get thru hig Finally the
‘lastly’2" re re and wey
y the tittle ot 1 we other "ables
e gir
tenth & elt impelled to
Mother,” she called
“aren't we solng
» mum,” was the demure reply,
“but there’s the ‘one more word and Sudden!
I'm done,’ and the ‘finally,’ and the ‘in ask aq
conchuaion’ to come yet. Dont be im-
nt.” in’a shrill volce,
to wash the dls hes?”
ight— >
“BAD MAN curl,
be adorned with™ her BLU.
°
KAR ORACLE,” writeth a seeker
‘after INFORMATION, “why do a
couple “of NEWLYWEDS always make
a SHOW of themselves in public? Why
do they make such a CONFECTIONARY
display of their love for each other when
there are others about?
A Discourse on Attection€ —
My brother, the WAYS of a man
a wife art devious and peculiar,
verily, ‘tho they may be throwing
BRICKBATS at each other in the privacy
of their HOME YEET HOME and epi-
thets which would make the hair of a
et will they “darling”
and “dearie” each other when they have
an audience, and wilt indulge in all fhe
SWEET ivivolities that are the APPE.
TIZERS of LOV:
And WHYFOR, ‘thou asketh. Because
they art trying to make an IMPRES-
Whyfor, thou demandest further,
should they go out of their BEAT.
PATHS to throw kisses at one another
across the dinner table and make thee
NAUSEOUS? Because they wish thee
to see how good-natured they art.
If thou art not IMPRESSED, who shalt
8a: y, it was THEIR fa
O'
r UTTERMOST to create an atmos-
phere of perfect BLISS Surrounding
nd thou art an ING vr
te appréciate tnelt HIs-
ism 8
TRIONIC efforts...
~ ONCE, there wert a man who got along
with his BETTER HALF much after the
manner of two STRANGE bulldogs in a
cabbage patch—only W' Bi
the house when she didst entertain-her
SEWING CIRCLE, then didst he come
home EARLY and there, before TWELVE
interested spectators he didst kiss her
lover-like and with fervor.
ND whilst the other women wept and
gnashed their TEETH to think about
the indifference of their own S ES,
and ENVIED the lady her lot in LIFE,
he were Jaughing up his SLEEVE at
them. For he KNEW how much it em-
barrassed his wife—he could tell it by
(—to have him make such a
HOW of her.
So, tho some COUPLES kiss because
hey cannot HELP themselves, pthers
a8 to make thee REALIZE what thou
an t MISSING, which, if the TRUTH were
nown, is not such a great DEAL.
have spoken. narerely
‘Higher Education,
ou ona IT missed a lot in our younger
by not going to a university,
M taggie.” “said the prosperous building
contractor as he settled back in his easy
chair and lit a p'
thatr asked his wife.
mar “take our daughter Lucy, She’s
ot Jim over here tonight, oping her
are for an exam in one o’ them new-
fangled studies—sociology, they call it.”
“y ‘What's that got to do with you and
me
Pra getting to that. Remember how
used to sit on your front porch for
hours wat a time, too bashful to say 4
word?”
“T emphati-
o that,” said his wife,
mother I
“Many a time I told
been a wonderful
in Lucy and Jim .were discussing
whether it'd be better for a husband and
wife to have the same or different opin-
jong about things.”
he idea,” said the contractor's wife.
“Wait a minute,” said her lesser halt.
“They're not engaged—yet. That’s just
a question in sociology. Lucy told me
early marriage t c
1 the things the lad’s
been dreaming about, and wondering if
up in casual sort o’, way and call it
studying sociology.’
“I never heard of such goings-on,” said
his wife tartly. “If that's ou're
‘paying out your good money for, you'd
better take the girl out o’ college now.”
The contractor shook his
“Be it bashfulness and a front porch
or goclolosy as a study, it all comes
I was ‘saying, old girl, you and I missed
a lot °" things by not going to the uni
versit
“I guess we ae agreed his wife.
mR
He’ ‘Owns Up.
“Where are you gotng, son?”
ey
“Going to call on a party down the.
stree:
“1 “aon't like the use of that word
‘party. If you are going to see a gen-
tleman, say so.”
. “Well, dad, I’m going to see a girl”