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Jim. “I’d ruther hab a gran’ obercoat an’a
got a hat, but I
“Tie your handkerchief over it, Jim.”
“Ain’ got no han’ksheef.”
“Then turn up your coat c:
“Got it turned up a'ready,” rowed Jim.
on you go——” and then Tommy stop-
ed,
“Wisher could 80 bo de debbil,” snorted
Jim. “I'd be ¢
“ “I didn’t say, to eo sre," chuckled Tom-
my. “I said to
“Cyan’t do it. eae rt jus’ now fin’ de
do” locked?”
“Oh, well, you can do as you like,” said
Tommy, gettin,
Then he turned the knob, opened the
door and walked ins:
Somebody had unlocked the door during
the last few min
It was beginning ‘o snow im the pass, and
it would have been no fun to stay out there
ain the wind and cold.
“at the brakemen. “Yo’ ain’
There was a stove in the car, and a fire
in the stove, and Tommy got next to both
_ ina jiffy.
Then Jim sneaked in, shut the door and
took a seat on the coal box and said noth-
i
‘as an emigrant car, but it was better
than nothing, and as no one said a word
to the travelers, they satd nothing in re-
ply.
What I mean is that no one in authori-
ty asked them for tickets or money or
threatened to bounce them or anything of
that sort.
The passengers near them spoke to them
now and then, asked them how far they
were going, and so on, and made them-
selves quite friendly.
They don’t come around for tickets more
than twice a day on these emigrant trains,
and Tommy and Jim put in a night of it be-
fore they were disturbe
They were in the State of California by
the time they were bounced, not to men-
tion a state of hunger.
“Tl buy you a ticket for San Francisco,”
said-an honest miner, when Tommy wa:
about to be bounced.
*“Can’t let you do it,” said Tommy. “I’m
doing, this trip on cheek. Thanks, just the
nye Tr, we ’preciate you’ kin’ness in mak-
iw you’ mos’ unanimous offah, sah,” said
~ Jim, with a polite bow, “but we am ‘obleeg:
ob our receibing any gratuitous
counterbutions
“That's all “rleht, cooney,” laughed the
miner. “If a smooth tongue and big words
will get you there, you'll arrive.
“Reckon I will,” said Jim, and then two
brakemen grabbed him and fired him in
short ¢ on ler.
y had Skipped just in time to avoid
similar treatm
Tl repo’t vo" “ge’men!” s sputtered Jim,
as he pleieed himself up and shook his fist
got no raight ter
handle freight in dat rac’less mannah, yo’
ain’.”
“Are you freight?” laughed one of the
men. “We sent you by express, didn’t we?”
“Yas’r, I'se freight, I is, an’ I wan’ yo’
ter be mo’ ca’less wif me, ef yo’ don’ wan’
ter get inter trouble,”
me on, Jim,” said Tommy.
an idea.”
“Does yo’ tink we can wo’k de lunch
countah on it, Marse ‘Tommy 2" asked Jig.
“T’'se pow'ful hungry, I is.”
due that they did some more rough
vr
They rode on the trucks and got full of
dust; they roosted on steps and on cow-
catchers; they got Into freight cars and ca-
seg and on top of the same, and were
regularly fired as soon as discovered.
Every time they were fired they had gone.
so. much further on their journey, how-
“ ever, and were willing to take the chance
of being fired agi
“We're pettiness on, Jim,” said Tommy, one
“I've got
. day, when they ‘approached a station, rag-
ged, dirty, hungry-looking and quite is-
reputable in appearance, “put we've got to
get on faster.”
“Yo’ bet you’ life we has,” growled J im.
“If we don’, I'll hab ter go as freight befo’
I knows it.”
“That's a good idea, Jim,” said Tommy,
as they stepped on the platform in front of
the freight house, where there was a good
deal going ‘on.
“Wha’s a good idea, Marse Tommy?” ask-
ed Jim,
“Why, going as freight, of course. Do
you see that bar: rel?”
es, I seen um,” muttered Jim, turning
and looking at an ordinary-sized cask.
“Wha’ abo’t um?”
“Tl pack you in there, send you to San
Francisco and pave your railroad fare.”
ack m dat?” gi
his hand on the cask,
Tom
mne up in lilly pieces? » but
I ain’ wendy ter trabel by freight dat a way
yet, sab.’
“No, not that yout laughed
“this one behind ® Tommy,
-“Oh, dat’s diff’ ent? ” muttered Jim, turn-
ing and seeing a hogshead standing near,
“Reckon I get in dat one a’ r
“Get in then, quick,” said’ Tommy.
“There's a lot of them Bolng te to San Fran-
HAPPY DAYS
cisco and I'll have this ore headed up and
sent with the rest.”
- “How's I gwine ter breafe in de cask?”
“There’s a hung-hole, isn’t there?”
“So dey is, but yo’ don’ wan’ ter let dem
plug it up.
“Oh, I won’t. Come, get in quick, while
no one’s looking,” and Tommy tipped the
empty hogshead on its side,
Jim started to get in, when Tommy with
& dexterous twist suddenly set it on end.
eels were seen in the air for a
moment and then they disappeared.
gave a large-sized grin as Jim’s
heels went down, and then he grabbed up a
head Standing near and put it on the cask.
-by, Jim; I’ll see you in San Fran-
cisco." he chuck led, as he walked off. .
“Ef I don’ get dere alibe an’ in good con-
ten came Jim’s voice through the bung-
le, “I’se jus’ swine ter lambaste yo’ good,
fas ‘remembah di
“All right, Jim. =
[ro BE CONTINUED.]
Ty Hair-Cutting Machine.
By “ED.”
Not long ago I had my hair cut.
It was perpetrated by a barber whose
breath smelt as if he had swallowed a slop
pail, and who by the remarkable way in
which he handled his scissors succeeded in
demolishing the most of one ear.
This set me to thinking.
How would it be to invent a machine
which, would “shingle” a fellow’s head in
a few minutes.
I invented 0:
It was on Tittle wheels. You pressed a
spring, put it on the victim’s head, pressed
a second spring, two little knives concealed
in a roller went to work, and in two min-
utes the head got a skin shar
I tried it privately first.
I shaved a hair sofa.
It worked beautifully.
Next I shaved the cat.
She has not got hair enough on her now
to make a paint brush, and I think of cut-
ting her tail off and selling her for a seal.
I was greatly encouraged by the success
of these experiments, and so I took it down
to my barber.
My barber is a foreigner from Hoboken,
N.
I took out my machine and explained the
working to him.
He thought it was a conundrum and
gave it up.
“Vot vas it all aboud?” asked he. “Vos
It was a hair-cutting
machine. One of the greatest inventions
of the age. It could Shave heads at the
rate of twenty per
“It von’t explode?” asked he, as he care-
fully ¢ examined it,
“te yosn't got to have no infernal revenue
stamps mit der bung-hole?
I explained to him that ‘it was not a beer
barrel. It was a hair-cutting machine sim-
ply, and it could not mow hay, hang clothes
or peel potatoes.
After I had repeated it several times he
seemed to comprehend,
“Yaw, I dumbles,” he said, “you set down.
I dries it mit Somebody. If it vorks all
right I dakes it.”
sat down upon a chair peculiar to a
arber’s shop; a chair rickety and bed-
buggy, and smelling horribly of bad hair
oil, and awaited the coming of a man to
be _Cxperimented upon.
t last a male phantom arrived.
te looked pale and hungry and walked
lame. He hadn’t any collar, was evidently
consumptive, and didn’t appear as if he
cour ick a eaterp! ilar.
cut!” sald he, tottering feebly into
a cha im
“Short?” gskea the barber.
“Skin tigh
The barber chucklea fiendishly and
Dronett forth the machine.
I—I don’t want my teeth pulled,” stut-
tered the customer.
“Vat I care?” asked the barber.
“But what are you going to do with that
—that forceps?”
“Dese vosn't nein four-steps,” replied the
barber, practically. “Dis vos a hay-cutting,
I mean hair-cutting machine. ~ We only use
it mit der petter glass of customers. It
cuts your hair off shust as nice as never
vos.”
The customer made no reply.’ But still
he was evidently suspicious.
The barber adjusted the machine.
Skim—skim—skim! went over the
male phantom’s head, clearing off his hair
1” roared the customer,
“what are you doing? Do you think I’ve
got the top of my head iron-plated?”
“Mein Gott!” aned the barber, “I
dinks it ya vas stuck.”
tt?”
“Der hay-cutt
“Push it Shean ” - sald.
The barber did.
The consumptivesooking chap got
and howled with pain.
up
“I’ve been scalped by Injuns once, an’ I
don’t wan’t it repeated,” he bawled. “Gol
darn yer old machine! Why didn’t yer put
my, hair down on the back of the chair
and chop it off with an ax. Blast your
darned improvements!”
Ye tried every way to get that trick
machine out of the phantom’s hair without
success,
We pushed it.
we pulled.
e tied it to a rope and nearly snatched
him ‘hair: balded.
t it remained apparently firmly and
fixedly in his hair. There seemed to be a
clear prospect that he would be accommo-
dated with it all of his life.
Finally he got out of his chair with tears
in his eyes and gore on his
“Did you make that infernal machine?”
he asked of the barber.
Tho barber drew himself proudly up.
“Vot you dakes me for?” he queried; “do
I look Uke 3 man dot vould kill beeples?”
“Who
The barber pointed to me.
“Dere he vos,” he said.
The phantom measured me with his eye.
The machine glared at me from his half-
cut locks, .
“Got an undertaker around here?” the
phantom aske
“Yaw, ” replied the barber.
“Has he lots of fresh ice to put a corpse
on?”
“T dinks so.”
The man ‘vith the machine in his hair
went for
Tam no D slouch at boxing.
a blind man in six minutes.
But that pale, consumptive male phan-
tom paralyzed e.
wiped off whitewash from the ceiling
with me, rammed me into the spittoons,
made me swallow shaving cups and bear's
grease, poured hair dye in my eye
finally threw me out into the street through
the window.
nt up another machine, will yer?” he
ye
I did not feel like it. In fact, I felt as
if I had been bounced through a coffee mill.
I got home somehow. .
On the way I met Cable.
“Cable,” requested I, “will you just step
down to the barber’s and ask him for my
hair-cutting machine?”
Cable went.
He has not got back yet.
At present he is enjoying the river breeze
at Bellevue Hospital, and it is reported
around that he was run over by a fire en-
ine.
T once licked
pale, consumptive male phantom
simply objected to his removing the ma-
e
week afterward I met a man who
works in the barber shop.
“Did you ever ox us _tuachine
from that ruffian’ 's head?” as!
“Oh, yes.
“How?”
“Took both around to the blacksmith’s.
Put the machine in the vise and pulled on
the man.”
“Where is the machine?”
_ “The barber’s got it. He says that you
can have it if youll pay for the damages
done to his stor
ant it
No more inventions for me,
I want of scientific fame.
I'm going to build a care out in our back
yard and become a herm:
I’ve got all
———_.+____ -.
We are giving away 15 high grade Bi-
cycles, Are you working for one? See
16th page.
—————-
Ir An Historic Cave.
Probably the most curious meeting place
in the world is the lodge room of Ga)
Creek Lodge, No. 2, Independent Order of
Odd Fellows.
2
miles from Johnson City, was discovered
yy the first settlers of Tennessee, Ea
token from the cave has long been used
for the manufacture of saltpetre. During
the Civil War the cave was worked. by the
Confederate Government, and thousands
of pounds of saltpetre were made there.
Some of the powder used in the battle of
King’s Mountain was manufactured from
saltpetre dug in this cave.
e cave lies due east and west, and at
any time during the day there is light
enough to read. The anteroom of the lodge
room is twelve feet square, arched over
by variegated limestone. It is separated
from the main hall by folding doors,
The hall. proper is much lower than the
anteroom. The main floor"is 20x36 feet.
At one end is a rostrum 12 feet square, ele-
vated thirty inches above the floor. -The
roof is an arch, the top of which is twenty
feet from the floor.
Frequently picnics and occa-
sionally preaching services are held in the
cave, which is so light that. pictures can
be taken sixty feet under ground without
artificial light.
(Continued from page 8.) -
There was nothing for it. Tom: had to -
come out on the platform, and, when. he
appeared the boys gave-him a great recep-
tion, cheering like mad.
Colonel Cooper stepped upon the plat-
form beside him.
Tom,” he said, “I am pleased to be the -
first to announce to you the result. You
are elected mayor of Boxford oY a ma-
jority of one ‘hundred and ten votes.”
“Hooray for Tom Taylor!” yelled, the
crowd. “Ilooray for the boy mayor!”
CHAPTER VIIL.
A MAYOR WHO MEANS BUSINESS.
m made a neat little speech and then
held ‘® reception right there on the freight
house platform
e boy’s first taste of politics.
He never knew before that he had so many
friends,
wheter the crowd adjourned to the hotel,
ere,
came along, after which there was an im-
promptu dance, an off with
Blanche Cooper for partner, Billy following
with Katherine W!
was long after “nidnight before the -
festivities ended, and Tom was heartily
glad when it was all over.
“I want to get right down to work,” he
said to Billy, when they parted for the
night, “and I shan’t be satisfied until I
0.”
There was nothing in the way of Tom’
resolution, for there was plenty to be tone ~
in Boxford, dear kno .
It took about two. ‘weeks ‘after the new
mayor was sworn into office for the boy
to get things Btraightened | out, and Tom
worked industriously, und Mr. Robey’s
direction, until he Understood something
of the duties of a mayor,
The town offices had been moved up-
stairs over Mr. White's drug store, and
Tom furnished a little room on the same
floor for himself and went to live there,
abandoning the old freight house the day
he was sworn in. .
One of his first acts was to arrange for
cleaning away the ruins of the town hall,
and the new mayor did not think it beneath
him to superintend the job him:
The idle iron workers went 10 work un-
der the mayor’s direction, and soon had the -
bricks neatly piled up and the good lumber
sorted out from the rubbish.
“That’s just like a boy,” said Mr. Conk-
lin, the livery stable keeper, who was a reg-
ular old croaker. “He spends his time do-
ing laborer’s work, when the town could
hire a man to take his place for a dollar
and a half, a day—that’s the sort of mayor
we've go! -
Now this sort of talk was all nonsense,
of cow
It takes time to get started at anything,
and the boy mayor of Boxford was working
might and main for the interests of the
t
wo.
The first thing he did was to call a meet-
ing of the town council and lay before them .
the letter on which he based his accusations
against Mayor Waddington.
The council said “wait,” and Tom was
waitin,
‘Waiting for what
bys the next move of the enemy, to be
e Meanwhile the Northwestern Rolling
Mill Co., which for years had leased thetbig
iron plant, orginally built by the town and
still owned by them, was apparently ‘get-
ting ready to move away.
They had been a very arbitrary con-
cern and had ground their workmen down
to the dust.
They would listen to no proposition in
the time of Mayor Waddington, and every-
body regarded ‘their removal as certain
until Tom laid the water-soaked letter be-
fore the council. .
Then the whole matter was understood
differently,
“You want to see them at once,” declared
Mr. Robey. “Why do you delay
“No,” said Tom. “Let them gend for me.
T'll be ready for them when they make the _
next ”
yeanwhile the boy mayor began writing
tte:
as
The “postmaster could have testified that
the letters were addressed to some of the
heaviest guns in the iron business and that
answers came in the envelopes of these con-
9
8
rns.
All this such petty growlers as old man
Conklin did not know, and it was none of
their business, but they kept up the cry
against Tom just the same.
“Huh! Going to Chicago to fool away his
time,” growled the livery stable keeper one
day a few weeks later, when Tom. hired a
team of him to drive over io | Bently and
told him to ch: arge it to .
If Mr, Conklin could have scon on the inside,
of a letter then reposing in Tom’s coat
pocket he would have understood the mat-
ter differently, perhaps, although it
repress