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YTHAPPY DAYS‘?
9
(This story commenced in No. 161.)
SMART AND SHARP;
IN BUSINESS 0:
By SAM SMI
Author of “ Goliah,” “The Last Bounce,” “The Si
Gold Mi
Shortys Hunting For
a Lost
Shortys’ Quiet Time" “The Two Mimics,” “Yellow and Blaet, ete,
CHAPTER IX,
JEFF was spouting away to those coons
like a good fellow.
He had been promising them all sorts of
things.
Sam’s big wagon was going to be turned
THE CROWD WAS INTERESTED, TOO.
EV. THEY DID NOT KNOW,
ON WHEELS.
SMILEY,
Short Lys on the OE ne The
ine,” “The Shortys Afloat,”
Then he tried to beat a retreat,
The eggs lasted until he got to the
ground.
alfa dozen of them followed him
as he tan full tilt towards the hotel.
m was nearly doubled up with mirth,
“ That was awfully funny,” he said, “* but
PEUTIC IST
eae
THEY KNEW THAT THE WHOLE THING WAS A TRICK,
“NOW, THEN,” CRIED SAM, WITH A SWOOP OF HIS HAND TOWARD JEFE'S
aie sah, on'y jus’ dis minute when yo’
woked me u
“The motion didn’t wake you
“No, n’ know nuffin’ abo’ t it.”
“e What, be ae you doing i in here r
“Takin’ a lilly bit o’ snooze, ’cause I
'spected I'd have ter sit up late dis ebenin’,
sah.
“Couldn't you sleep i in your room 2”
“No, sah, olen man was, layin” cross-
1
‘No, sah,” blubbered Eph,
Then he let out the whole business,
He wasn’t likely to tell any more lies for
a couple of days at leas
When the smart of his last licking wore
off he might, but not while it reminded
him of Sam’s summary way of dealing
with liars,
The boys started in scaring up business
right away and got a good crowd in a little
wise on the bed, ‘an’ dere wasn’ scussly no| while.
room fo’ a skeeter.
there wasn't? Well, you’re lying
and I'm going to give youa lick ing an see
if I can’t make you tell the truth.”
“er ee ’se tellin’ yo’ nuflin’ but de
trufe, 2 Sas
“Get the whip, Ti
“Deed, Lis. » sah, on "et yo’ lambaste me
till yo'’s tiahed, yo’ won’ get me ter tell no
diffe’nt. Yd on vam ter make me tell
lies, does yo’,
it o’t ob a whippin’?”
“e ‘Certainly nate
Tg!
“Got the whip, Tom ?”
WHAT THE TRICK WAS, HOW-
FACE, “‘ PRESTO, CHANGEO, HARUM SCARUM, ALLABAJAM, AND THE ‘THING IS DONE!”
into a traveling camp meeting for their
benefit.
The convention had not suited him evi-
dently and he was going to start one of
is own.
Neither Sam’s nor Tom’s wishes had been
taken into account,
Sam now put ina w
Or rather an egg, to be ‘exact.
Biff!
One of the oldest eggs took Jeff in the
forehead,
It br oke.
Talk of eau de cologne!
It wasn’t a bit like it,
un
Another egg struck close to where the
first had landed,
pun
Whack | .
i
Whack ! . .
Four more followed in rapid order,
Sam did not throw them all.
Tom took a
Then others followed s suit,
Sam passe
“Soak that nigger for keeps,” he said
“He's janitor of a white choreb reb and a
ing to get your money elp
' cane goons quickly helped Pe elas to
“et hey did not go begging by any means,
ie a jiffy the basket was emp ty.
and Sam had kept out a few.
Then “they let them fly.
There were others,
Before Jetf knew where he was at he
was plastered from head to foot.
how did
ust h
© T didn ‘t, but I made up my mind to
pak) him with those eggs wherever I found
id Fou know you would catch him
“Ts ee.”
“T thought that you and I would have
the fun ali to ourselves, but we were lucky
enough to find someone to help us,”
“ , for we couldn't have soaked them
all i on him before he could have got
away.”
‘““No, not very well,”
awanhe cheek of him taking the wagon
like that
h, he’ll do anything. He got usin the
neck, however, just as said he would.”
“So he did, but where's Eph?”
However, let’s drive a
The boys halted in ‘the s square near the
post-office, and began to get ready for busi-
ness.
Ww hey let down the tail-board, they
found Spb hiding under one of the bunks.
Ife was rooted out by a smart kick and
set to wor!
“Why didn’t you come and tell us the
old man was going off with the wagon?"
asked Sam. '
*Didn’ know nuffin’ abo't it till jus’
now,” said Eph,
“Didn't you iknow the wagon wasn’t in
the stable yard ?”
&) was a lot of hay, used i
Tom passed a short: whip over to Sam.
The latter whacked Eph across the stern
sheets wit!
pb never winced,
Sam put in four or five licks, some on
the ¢ legs, gome on the back,
Eph st it and never peeped.
Then ‘Sam tumbled.
e was something i in the sound of the
blows that didn’t seem rr
ake off your jacket. i
Then Eph objected.
And your breeches.
Then Eph began to Sot scared and bleach
out a few shades.
* Really, Marse Sam, I’se tellin’ ——’
The boys grabbed him and took him in-
side the wagon.
Then they peeled off his outer clathes,
and found a second suit under it.
‘he coa at was Tom’s and the trousers
were Sam
Inthe seat of the trousers, to fill em out,
n packing. goods,
The legs were stuffed with excelsior,
Evidently Eph was prepared for a warm
meeting with his bosses,
e got it.
Tom Bot a thin board from a small
Pacer aaa de doubled that lying young coon
over his knee and held him tight,
Sam plied the thin board and shingled
that coon’s back porch in fine shape
All he had on was black skin tights, too.
cke ed away till Eph frirly
oO Now, then, will you tell us any ,nore
lies ?”
Jeff turned up while Sam was harangu-
ing the the multitude, looking as innocent as
amb,
He kept away from Sam as much as
sible, however, although he hustle
much as ever,
did Eph, although it was noticed that
he limped | how and then and wore rather
sickly ile,
* Convention convention, Sam
caught his crowd, and held it, too, for if it
thinned out a ‘little now and then, it soon
filled up aga'
“ Here you ‘are, brother delegates !”" Sam
shouted, “Step right up and buy your
supplies before going to the convention,
Brother Jefferson Jackson Brown will mix
you an omelette in his cornet, and Master
Ephraim, the leather-hided boy, will let
you stick pins in him to show you what a
n he has,
Now, then, brothers and sisters, walk
right into our own convention and buy
your neckties, collars, handcuffs, bandkex.
chiefs and suspenders, collar buttons aad
spac; lac laces, buttons, knives, and everything
that’
“ Toon ‘her up, Jefferson Jackson Clay
Adams Brown, and let the boy wonder,
Master Eph, show what he can do in the
way of dancing. I taught hima few new
steps this evening. Ephraim, won't you
giveus a few lightning changes of costume
in full view of the e
Eph didn’t see the joke as
and Tom and Jeff di
Os
wellas Sam,
not see it at all, as
the young scamp had not yet communi-
cated his troubles to his paren
He t likely to, either, ‘for Jeff had
pre a Hi » an additional licking for
Beery time that Sam found him out and
gave
“* Now, then,” continued Sam, “T'll give
Fou one of my own songs while we are un-
oading the grand pianos, which will next
be offered for sale
“You 1 may, talk about reforms, new women
But i a 0 the good old woman that I take off
She didn’ o mix in politics and things that do
But shone ne "er forgot to sew the buttons on my
She ws asn ‘ palways raving and tearing "bout her
And ane Kept the boys at home, ‘stead of letting
‘em out nig’
She didn’ uo falls ot ‘single tax nor want her sex
But you! ‘het t “she was a dd andy to put binding on
at.
She made good bread and dandy cake, built the
ie:
And te ‘Kee? the children neat and clean she
never espise,
So Jet, the queer new woman go take a far back
eat
For the good old woman’s bound to stay and
r can be beat
‘That ot the erovwd in a good humor and
they wante
“T haven't time to Bive you any more,
my fellow sufferers,” “but the
next time I comearound 1 1 sing you three
hundred more verses just like that. Now,
then, who wants to buy something?”
Nearly everybody did, and Sam and Tom
did a regular land office business for the
next houror so.
@ convention didn’t seem to bother
them a little}bit, for the people kept coming
and going and all those who came Seemed
to buy something before they we
Sam concluded not to stay all mi ht at
this town on account of the hotels and
boarding- houses being full of convention
folks and so when the sale was over he
packed up BP. put out the lights and lighted
°
“OW hat “business had you to ‘take the
wagon, Jeff, and go off as you did?” Sam
asked, when they started.
. Me, Marse Sa am asked that boss liar,
with a'look of won!
You were going totake the
niggers for a ride and start a little conven-
tion of yourown. Don't you know I could
ave had you arrested for stealing ?*
“*Me, MarseSam? Why, I never runned
away wif de w wagygin.
“Yes, you did. I saw
“M- m, I don’ see ho’ so en do it, sah,
joes yo’ eber fink Whar yo'm
when yo’ die ef yo’ keep on tellin’ sech
hon erst xo neber see me on de wag-
in ” s t up de sale, sah,”
“ You re a lyi ing villain, and——”
“No, sab, yo’ eber did, Guess yo’ mus’
hab ymistooken ne o' dem strange nig;
‘o’ me, Marse $ Sam, I didn’ like de look ob
one big fat fellah im'se’f, and I distrusted
dat he wanted ter steal 'de w vagon, ‘cause I
seen him lookin’ at it kin’ o’ spicious like,
Yo' membah my colin yeu’ ’tention to de
fellah, don’ yo’, Eph'm ?