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| 294
’. sand battles, the principal cities of the empire—es-
_and there these honorable souvenirs were counter-
my friend, the Home Secretary!"
_ Done Brown. .
woe | BY CAPTAIN RAFTER. . .
Soon after peace had begun to shed her benign
influence over the European world, and the British
lion reposed ini glorious ease after the toils of a thou-
pecially London, Dublin, and Edinburgh—swarmed
with military men of all ranks, either retired from
the service, or taking their. piacere on leave of
absence. .Great numbers of these exhibited incon-
testable proofs of hard service, in the loss of legs,
arms, or eyes, left on the different battle-fields which
have crowned. the English annals with such impe-
rishable glory ; but it must be confessed that here
feited by persons unconnected with the army, to
gratify some childish vanity, or to serve some base
and dishonest purpose. .
ublin was at that time, comparatively speaking,
‘a flourishing city ; for the Union was only fifteen
years old, and its peculiar advantages had not yet
fully developed themselves. Sackville street was
then a brilliant and a fashionable promenade; and
there, in a particularly handsome store, Mr. John
Brown had recently established himself as jeweller
and silversmith: a smart little talkative man, very
anxious to pick up customers amongst the aristoc-
racy, and to scrape an acquaintance, even for ac-
quaintance sake, with everything distingué, especi-
ally in the military world.
One fine summer morning a very elegant-looking
person entered Mr. Brown’s store, attended by a
footman in splendid livery, who displayed all that
graceful tact and self-possession peculiar to the
domestics of very great people. The master was a
very martial-looking figure, attired in the very quin-
tessence of military mufli; his deep-blue surtout
braided and frogged with exquisite taste; while his
snow-white trousers, highly-polished boots, and
cavalry spurs, gave a finish to the tout ensemble
which was altogether irresistible.
So, at least, thought John Brown; for he danced
up to the stranger in one of those graceful steps
which he had studied under M. Petipas, when qua-
lifying himself to pop the question to the accom-
plished young lady who afterwards became Mrs.
Brown. With his most elaborate bow, the little
jeweller offered a chair to his anticipated customer
—who, he then first perceived, had lost both his
arms, apparently on service, his coat sleeves being
-empty, and looped up in front to one of his buttons ;
a circumstance that made him infinitely more inte-
resting than he otherwise would have been in the
opinion of John Brown. :
“Mr.—aw—Brown,” said the stranger, sinking
with graceful lassitude into the proffered chair, “I
am desirous of looking at some plate—a small ser-
vice, sufficient to dine a dozen or so—but of the
most recherché pattern, if you please—aw—Mr.
Brown!’ , .
“Certainly, sir—with a great deal of pleasure,
sir!” said the delighted silversmith, as he directed
_ two of his smartest shopmen to display the required
articles on his highly-polished mahogany counter,
descanting eloquently on the taste, fashion, and
workmanship of each, as he gracefully held forth
sits elegant form to his admiring customer.
“ This, sir,” said John Brown, holding up arichly
chased epergne of elaborate design and faultless
execution ; “this is the identical pattern selected
by the Lord Lieutenant ——” .
“Ah, true!” said the stranger, interrupting him
with a bland smile; “so it is, Mr.—aw—Brown!
T remarked it yesterday at his Excellency’gtable ;
and on inquiry some of the Castle people did, in fact,
tell me it was furnished by you: which—aw—has
induced me to come here, in preference to Smith
and Bradford’s, where I was originally recommended
to go for my plate.”’
John Brown was profuse in bows and smiles, and
grateful thanks to the “Castle people,” for having
sent him so amiable a customer, who must, he con-
ceived, hold some high oflice in the vice-regal estab-
lishment: he even ventured to throw out a hint to
that effect. , . :
“ Ah—oh—yes!’’ said the stranger, in a toné of
happy indifference. “The Castle Staff—Comp-
troller-General of Private Disbursements !” :
John Brown had never heard of this title befure ;
but the daily creation of new places was then so
notorious in Ireland, that the ¢ircumstance created
no surprise in his unsuspecting mind. :
“Quite a new office, sir!’ observed John Brown,
smirking and rubbing his hands, with a smile in-
tensely obsequious.
“Just so, Mr.—aw—Byown !” coldly responded
the stranger. ‘Made expressly for me, in fact, by
FRANK LESLIE’S NEW YORK JOURNAL.
.Fervently did John Brown bless his atars for
having sent him a customer of so exalted a station
as to be iutrusted with the control of those private dis-
bursements, a fair portion of which he himself might
henceforward look upon'as his own. He therefore
exerted himself so effectually to gratify the wishes
of the distinguished stranger, that he finally suc-
ceeded in selling him a very handsome service of
plate, sufficient to dine a dozen or so, and precisely
of his excellency’s pattern. ,
.. The bill having been made out, and a liberal dis-
count deducted for prompt payment—such being
the declared intention of the purchaser—the latter
desired his footman to put his hand into his side-
pocket, and draw from thence his’ pocket-book,
which contained, he said, notes for. considerably
more than the amount required.
The footman accordingly searched his master’s
side-pocket ; but the book was not there.
“Try my other pockets, Richard!” said the
stranger. “It must, of course, be in one of them!”
‘““No, SirJohn,” replied the footman, after trying
all the pockets‘; I can’t find it anywhere!”
“Deuce take it!” exclaimed Sir John, with an
air of amiable insouicance; ‘I must, then, have left
it on his excellency’s library table—for I came here
direct from the Castle!” we : oe
* Pray, Sir John,” briskly interposed the silver-
smith, with his most insinuating smile, ‘ pray don’t
trouble yourself any further on the subject! I shall
do myself the honor of sending the plate to the
Castle, and you can pay.the little amount to the
messenger; or indeed to-morrow, or some other
day, as it may suit your convenience!” -
“No, no, Mr.—aw—Brown !”’ said-the stranger,
with a look of intense dignity; .“ I cannot think of
commencing with you in that manner! Let me
see! Oh!—ah!—Richard you shall go home for
the money, and I'll wait here till your return!”
“T beg a thousand pardons, Sir John!” cried
Brown, in a bustle, shocked at being the innocent
cause of so much inconvenience. wt
“Make no apology, my dear sir,” returned the
stranger, with a winning smile. “ My time is not
very valuable to-day! Besides, Mr. Brown, I dare
say you can give me some uscful hints on a variety
of subjects connected with this country, and of
which, as a stranger, I am necessarily ignorant.”
The delighted John Brown expressed his readi-
ness to serve his new customer in any way ; was
highly honored with the confidence thus reposed in
him; would do his best possible, &c., &c.
“Now Mr. Brown,” said the stranger, graciously
acknowledging these proffered services, “ in the first
place you will be good enough to write a note for
me!” adding, ‘with a melancholy smile, ** unfortu-
nately, as you sce, I cannot do it for myself!”
“Certainly, sir—with a great deal of pleasure, Sir
John!” returned the loquacious silversmith... “I
am sorry to perceive, sir, as you say; but you have
been in some hot work, sir! I’ll engage you have
seen some wigs on the green?”
“Wigs on the green!” exclaimed the elegant
stranger, with a very cold, aristocratical stare. |
“Beg pardon,-sir!” said Mr. Brown, when he
became conscious of his vulgarity. “Tis our Irish
mode of expression, sir, when we speak of a row or
askrimmage! 4 dare say you have been in many
askrimmage, Sir John! May I make so bold as to
ask—ahem—where you lost—hem—ahem——”
“One at Salamanca,” replied the stranger, with
military nonchalance;. “the other at Waterloo;
and now for business. Do me the favor Mr. Brown,
to write me a note tu Lady Cecilia—that is, my
wife |” ce
“‘ Certainly, Sir John,” said the complaisant sil-
versmith ;. with a great deal of pleasure! Charm-
ing name, sir, Cecilia; ’tis my wife’s-name also,
sir,” .
“ Very possible, sir!” said the stranger, in a tone
of frigid indifference. . -
“ Fact, sir, I assure you !” continued the commu-
|nicative John Brown. « “* Cecilia O'Driscoll, sir—a
distant relation of the O’Driscolls of. Fermanzgh,
sir—a very ancient family, sir, descended from the
old Kings of Ulster!” m
“Oh, true!” observed the stranger, with a smile.
“You Irish gentlemen are so fond of quoting your
pedigrees!” 7 _
Inexpressibly flattered at being classed by so dis-
tingué a person in the categoty of “Irish - gentle-
men,”’ John Brown bowed, chuckled, and rubbed his
hands in high glee. .
“ Now then, begin, sir, if you please,” said the
stranger. ‘“t My dear Cecy'” .
« Just so!’’ soliloquised John Brown, as he wrote
the words—‘ short for Cecilia; IT generally do so
myself!” : . - :
“« « My dear Cecy,’”’ continued the stranger, as Mr.
Brown wrote frora his dictation ; ‘*‘I have pressing
occasion for some cash; therefore send me by the
bearer, without delay, the money box from the cabi-
net in the back parlor. et
. “*Yours, ever, °. “¢J. B”
“Just so!” said the silversmith,’ as hee finished
writing; “those are my initials, also. John Brown
window-plates!”. :
“And mine,” responded the stranger, drawing
himself up with aristocratical hauteur, “is De Beau-
voir—Sir John De Beauvoir, of the Life Gaards!”
This announcement finally completed the rapture
of the silversmith, in whose sanguine imagination
now floated visionary orders, ad infinitum, for vice-
regal sezvices, and mess-plate for Life Guards and
Lancers, through the-kind intervention of his new
friend, the Comptroller-General of Private Disburse-
ments, With a joyfully-agitated hand he folded the
letter, and, in the confusion of the momeut, sealed
it with his own seal, as he begged to know how he
should address it. .
“You need not give yourself that trouble!” said
Sir John; “it is quite unnecessary, as it goes by
hand! Richard, take that note to your mistress at
the Castle, and bring me the money-box with a
little delay as possible!” ~ Tes °
The footman accordingly departed with the note,
and Sir John entered into friendly chat with Mr.
Brown in the interim, oa all the ordinary topics of
the day: the recent war, the last Curragh meeting,
the forthcoming vice-regal ball, the approaching
general election, the state of parties, &c., until, all
these fruitful topics being exhausted, Sir John began
to yawn, and to wonder what could detain his ser-
vant. Then he began to © pish,” and fidget, and
grow testy. am
“Lady Cecilia must certainly have gone out with
the vice-regal party to the Phenix Park !”’ observed
Sir John ; “but Richard! deuce take the booby !
He should have come back and told me 50; particu-
larly as he knows I have an appointment with the
Lord Lieutenam, which I cannot conveniently
break !” . -
~. John Brown said and did all he could to soothe
the impatience of his new patron; and in this he
succeeded for some time, by those great conversa-
tional powers on which he particularly prided him-
self; descanting, with great taste and delicacy, on
the private histories of the Castle, the Four Courts,
and the Fifteen Acres, and luxuriating on the ancient
glories of the O'Driscoll’s, in a strain of eloquence
that raised him fifty per cent, at least in his own
estimation. —~ :
At length, however, the Comptroller-General of
Private Disbursements declared he could not in com-
mon decency keep his excellency waiting any longer.
e therefore wished Mr. Brown a good morning ;
assuring him, with a sweetly-patronising smile, that
he would not only send him the money ior the plate
as soon as he got to the Castle, but he would also
recommend him warmly to his numerous friends,
| civil and military, both in England and Ireland.
From Cape Clear to the Giant’s Causeway, Ire-
Jand did not contain a happier man than John
Brown, after his morning’s work—which he un-
gratefully ascribed less to his godd' fortune than to
his own tact and savoir faire. For an hour or two
he strutted backwards ‘and forwards in his ‘store,
rubbing his hands in high glee, and cracking jokes
with his shopmen ; but, unable any longer to confine
his happiness within his own breast, he ordered his
buggy, and drove to the residence of several of his
friends, to whom, in the fulness of his joy, he re-
lated, the transaction of the.morning, and all his
glowing anticipations therefrom.
None of John. Brown’s friends’ had ever before
heard of such an office as that of “ Comptroller-
General of Private Disbursements.” But this only
confirmed Mr. Brown in the idea that he alone, of
all the Dublin tradesmen, was selected for especial
patronage ‘by that high functionary. Some, it is
true, advised him to be cautious in the matter, and
to make sure of payment,-at least for the first instal-
ment; while one, who aspired to peculiar sagacily,
sneered s0 provokingly at the whole affair, that, John
Town dropped a hint of trotting him out some fine
morning to the “ Fifteen Acres.”
aving made his round of visits, and created, as
he plainly perceived, a great deal of envy at his
superior good fortune, our happy silversmith drove
home to his snug little box on the Circular Road ;
where his fair helpmate received him with those
dimpling smiles—the husband's most delichtful
reward for all the cares and dangers that so inces-
santly beset his path in this troublesome world.
“As the fair hand of Mrs. Brown poured out for
is my name, sir, as you will perceive by the brass .
? 4
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