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Todye’s ‘Litecary Waseum,
249
ONE
Of the Sad Seventy-two Rejected Addresses, for. the
Opening of the Bo Boston Theater.
BY
Soxs of the pilgrims, who, though storm and fear
Surrounded all their early labors here,
Gave the strong worship of the Gnontless bewrt
To faith and morals and each cla:
With such devotion, that proud F veodonn smiled
To dwell in the regenerated wild—
Proof’ of their wisdom! Heirs of all their fame!
On you the Muses hold no common claim.
Taught in their shrine, you challenge high compare
On foreign shores among the deathless there;
While young New England is the envied theme
Of many a prophet’s and a poet’s dream.
Yield to the heavenly claimants all their due;
Your heart’s their shield, their grateful smiles on
you.
Here, where combine the charms of every muse—
As in the rainbow’s arch all lovely hues—~
Where all the nobler instincts of mankind
In the pure flame of Genius grow refined,
Unmixed with gross emotion—bow, adore,
And rear the Drama higher than e’er before.
Eyes, brows, that speak in wide array to-night,
May well be looked to for propitious light.
We feel that you are friendly ; know that you,
Children of learning and her champions too,
Confess the magic and will guice the power,
Born of good will, to this baptismal hour!
Care for the bud and fair the flower shall blow;
Direct the channel where the strerm should flow;
And where you choose to form the funeral pyre,
Let guiit, not goodness, feed destruction’s fire.
By you and of you does the actor live,
Acts but the task the public mandates give:
Blame not the oracle, if you, the soul, .
Protane the temple with perverse control,
Prompt the base theme and cheer the vulgar scribe,
Who hurls at morals his derisive gibe ;—
Ab! be your patron force for else applied,
With candid lip to pure desire allied,
Then, author, actor, patron shall be taught
The threefold bliss by faultless union wrought.
And here how happy shall Reiinion be,
Lopg-parted friend of cherished Ways to see,
As in reality they reippear,
‘Revive old Federal’s and Tremont’s career,
Whilé mem’ry owns her fav’rites 2s they pass
Triumphant over time’s transforming glass.
Relics of pleasure’s long-recorded years!
Ye few survivors! Amid smiles and tears
Ye meet—with recollections of the Dead
‘Thronging the stage where their Companions tread.
Their spirits crowd this air—with Shakspeare’s
shade;
Their exultations all the house pervade!
So Solon’s ashes scattered round the isle
Of Salamis, no more to know his smile,
Seemed to inspire each air with wisdom’s breath,
‘And cheered his scenes of conquest after death!
We feel the impulse, and not least do they,
The fond familiars of the old array,
While honored BAgRy marshals them once mére,
‘And guides the pageant that they graced of yore.
Hail! remnants of the past! And welcome ye!
Strangers, whose genius bore you o'er the sea.
‘The true Columbian owns no selfish breast,
But gladly weaves you garlands with the rest.
To each and all, warm welcome! Yet, adieu,
Ere drowsy preface tire themselves and you.
Rise, virgin folds! O, may you ne’er descend
Where vice can boast or virtue lack a friend.
Unveil a world of pictures to diffuse
Good for mankind and glory for the Muse!
What Shall We Do With Him?
We have had this question asked us hun-
dreds of times, by parents who were anx-
ious that their promising son should become
a man of distinction and an. honor: to his
friends.
- Let the boy suffer ! Don't trouble your-
self abdut the mode of pres¢rving your
crop of potatoes till they.are first planted.
Trouble and straightened . circumstances
will operate on the young mind like a hot-
bed on early peas. If you don’t want your
boy to grow up a dolt, a dumb-headed fogy,
teach him when first entéring his teens that
a quart-cup holds but two pints—that five
cents is one twentieth part of a dollar—and
that in a short time he has got to support
himself, with the prospect of a large family.
Let no sickly, canting sentimentalism deter
you from telling the boy the ways of the
world and the ruts to be avoided. Let him
early learn to earn something by his own
labor, that he may look upon industry as
respectable.
Atter this is done—unless you are able |
o give him a collegiate education—teach |
him to spell, read, and
grammar, and the common rules of arithme-
tie—the practical branches that are benefi-
cial in any and all positions—and then “set
him adrift,” to work for himself. Who are
first the victims of blacklegs, and after-
ward members of the fraternity? They
are mother’s pets, tied to the nursery till
nearly of age, supplied with “spending
money” by doating parents, and implicitly
led to believe till too late to reform, that it’s
“dem'd foine” to live without work.- Read
the history of nearly all the eminent men
that this country has ever produced—states-
men, divines, and merchants—and you will
find that ninety-nine hundredths of them
were embarrassed in youth, and that about
one-quarter were fatherless and orphans.
A fond mother’s religious influence is of the
utmost importance to a child, and no other
influence is half so lasting; but this can all
be exerted before the boy is ten years of
age. :
Finally, don’t blame your full-grown son
for being a blockhead, and for not being
able to think, if you have always insisted
upon doing all his thinking for him.
write, English
Good Coffee---
A BEVERAGE which isso rare, and yet
so easily procured—a drink which must be |
that known among the gods as ambrosia—
whose fragrance is richer than the roses of
Stamboul, and whose flavor surpasses the |
Falernian, grapes—what bitter compounds, |
what nauscous mixtures, what nondescript,
preparations have counterfeited the name of
this syonym of a good breakfast.
In all ground coffee, chickory and dried
peas are mixed; and in Lyons, France, a
cheap berry, much resembling coffee, is
found, with which the article is now largely
adulterated—and when the genuine is pro-
eured, how it is perverted from its proper
use by ignorance and carelessness. The
woman who does not make good coffee, cer-
tainly gives her family grounds of complaint.
An eminent French cook, who crossed
the Atlantic with us, as a passenger, told us
how to produce the article, and we néver
knew it to fail of suiting the palate. Take
Old Government Java, and Porto Bello, in”
equal quantities., Brown enough for break-
fast on the morning it is used. Place a
leaching cup in the top of the urn, and
pour boiling water through it several times.
Never let it boil.. Heat, milk or cream,
weaken it to the taste, and correct it with
loaf sugar, and you have the article.
The Quincy House
Is one of the best hotels in Boston. Its
tables are of the first order, its waiters most
civil and obliging, and its rooms neat and
nice. Mr. Long, the popular landlord, is
always attending on his boarders, and his
clerks, Messrs. Danforth and: Cheney, are
models of civility. It is generally impossi-
ble to obtain a room, if application is not
made before dinner—a convincing comment
on the estimation in’ which this excellent
hotel is held. It seems more like home than
a public house, and our readers cannot be
better cared for when they visit Boston than
in the Quincy House. If the landlord con-
tinues to be as popular as he is now, the
Spoiling a Joke.
Nor one man in a hundred can tell a|
Joke so that the point can Le discovered |
by the listeners without an explanation, | |
which, in fact, is butchering it to the ears of |
a true wit, A gentleman in company with
Goldsmith, once directed a servant to take |
a dish of bad-colored peas to the other end |
of the table. When asked the reason for |
so doing, he replied, “’twas the way to
turn em green,” (Turnham Green.) Gold-
smith attempted to perpetrate the same pun
on another occasion, but his reply was, to
make ’cm green. The result was, he was
laughed at instead of the joke.
a punster once remarked that a reputedly
wealthy bookseller could not be doing much
business, as his books were stationery. A
hearty laugh followed, and one of the listen-
ers attempted to relate it the next day as
his own.
“We an’t’doing much business,” he ex-
claimed.
“Why not?” inquired the bystanders,
with no little wonderment.
“’Cause he keeps a bookstore,”
reply.
The would-be joker wonders to this day
why there didn’t anybody laugh.
The best thing that occurs to us at this
moment, however, to illustrate this point, is
the following :
A gentleman was called upon at a picnic
to sing a song or tell a story, for the amuse-
ment of the ladies. He mounted a stump,
and exclaimed,
* Ladies, this is no time for long speech-
‘es, and therefore I'll give youa conundrum.
Can you tell me when a lady is not a la-
was the
iy 2?
All guessed, and all failed. The wit
good-humoredly rubbed his chin, and after
making each one present guess three times,
exclaimed,
“ Well, ladies, I'll tell you when a lady is
not a lady. It’s when she’s a Little buggy.”
No one laughed, and many were’ so of-
fended that they immediately left the spot
in disgust.
Ile was called upon the next day by a
committee, to explain the cause of the un-
provoked insult. "They asked him what he
meant by calling the ladies buggy.
“Did I say buggy?” he inquired, his
eyes starting from their sockets.
“ You certainly did,” was the reply.
“Good heavens! gentlemen, then you
must apologize for me. I meant to have
said, when a little sulky. I never heard the
joke but once, and at the time I told it had
forgotten the kind of carriage.”
He had never seen the joke, and thought
the laugh ‘came in by calling females wag-
ons.
"> Tue author of the following has
been obliged to have his head poulticed with
umbrellas:
Why. would it be unchristianlike for a
woman to assume the part of a man? Be-
cause she would become a he-then.
¥s> Tuere is a man by the name of
Hill, in lowa, who has lived so long on In-
dian meal that his voice has become husky,
his hair has turned to silk, his disposition is
as rough as acob, and he can hardly stalk
along, for his toes are covered with corns.
Fact! the whole of it.
sa J. H. Worturnartoy, a member of
the firm of Jewett, Proctor & Worthington,
of Cleveland, O- io, lately died, of typhoid
fever, ' He was 28 years ol. | His loss will
other hotels must all fail before Long. .
be deeply felt by a large circte ‘of frienda.”*
Contents of this Number.
|TALES AND SKETCHES:
The Contoy Prisoners
An Irish Demurrer, .
A Slave Auction.
A Chapter on Horses
“One Dollar”? Scott
Yankee Fuergy....
| EDITORIALS:
Opinions and Personal Appearance,
Courting under Difficulties,
Seconds Minuted
What ShaJl We Do With Hi
Good Coffee.....+6
Spoiling a Joke.
Omnibuses....
News Items and Spicy Paragraphs,
POETRY:
September..
One of the Rejected Addresses.
The Old School-House by the River.
Moonlight Hours. .
MUSIC:
Can I Speak the Word that Parts Us?... ...256
MISCELLANEOUS:
The Sabbath Day..
A New Tnterpretratien,
Our Grandfathers
A Perfect Wife.
"a> Farr not to read The Contoy Pris-
oners—commenced in this number.
E> Tue South Carolina Temperance
Standard is a strong champion of. the cause
it advocates. We hope it receives the pat-
ronage it deserves.
ga Wm. Watson is the clerk who de-
tected the thief employed by Fetridge &
Co. Mr. Watson has a sharp eye to busi-
ness, and is deservedly popular with the
public and Count Fetridge. A faithful, dil-
igent clerk is of the utmost - advantage to a
trading-house.
g3> Tue Herald accuses Stebbings , of
being in correspondence with. the Pope. »
Why not tell the whole truth, and: not—
joBB saSS-like—attempt to injure the old
hero by keeping back the principal facts ?
Yes, Stebbings has corresponded with the
Pope. He replied to the crafty old fellow’s
invitation for him to join with joBB saSS
and unite with the Pope’s party, that he
“would never forsake American principles ;
that he yet held the wooden leg that he
captured from Santa Ana, and the golden
sword that he wrenched from the hands of
the Governor of Canada in the Aroostook
war, and that sooner than forget his bir h-
right, he would wrap himself in the Ameri-
can flag and Dre.” Yes, he has correspond-
ed with the Pope. Let the fact be known.
The Dead-Head System.
Tue N.Y. Tribune is out against the
practice of giving certain persons free passes
on railroads, to public entertainments and ,
the like. No doubt the custom has grown
into an abuse, for there is no reason why
any man should be entitled toa free ticket ‘
to any place where others’ pay, unless he »
renders an equivalent, as an Irishman might
say, and then it would hardly be called free.
Editors and those connected with the press
certainly pay their, way, though they may
not formally purchase tickets. If an edite-
rial notice of anything depending on the .
public for support, is not a guid pro qua, it
would be difficult to find one. Strictly
speaking, members of the press are not
“dead-heads.” They pay their way, and as
a general rule, there i isa balance in 1 thein :
‘favor,
A.
es