Activate Javascript or update your browser for the full Digital Library experience.
Previous Page
–
Next Page
OCR
[Written for Dodge’: Literary Museum.)
HE'S CAUGHT AT LAST!
BY Jnxirux.
A thousand heroes sought the maid-she rcthsctl
her love to 21 tlrotmtud be sons of the sword were
despised ; for gmceful in her (yes was OsE51A21'.-Fingal .
r
Plcasuul is thy voice in Ossurrs ecr, daughter of ‘
ltudin.
our-borne Sorglun.-De-ztlu of Cu:
The Joy of
of his dark brown yeurs.- Tzmor
Yov’i<.s caught, at last; you are. by Jupiter!
A captive in the toils oi‘ matrimony;
The “ best joke of the season,” I over,
The 1.'lry best, and coolest, and most funny!
Although so neatly you've contrived to shun it
Through all these years, at last you've " hcen and
dune it ”!
Farewell to buttonlcss sleeves and crumpled linen,
(For thesehnd woman are sworn euemies,)-
To heelless hose your bachelor feet have been in-
Farcwell to dickeys guiltless of a string,
And all their kindred comforts-everything!
Farewell! a long, a wide, a last ihrewell!
For, recollect, it is to lustfurecer:
And that, you know, is something of a spell;
And all in vain would be your fond endeavor
For freedom-for until the day you die,
You cannot be a bachelor, if you try.
No, sir.’ you're gone beyond recovery,
Wedlock’s the surest loci: in all creation :
Not even Hobbs could pick it, should he try,
‘Tie proof against all sorts of penetration;
A “ salamander safe ” is nothing to it- '
Nothing can break, or batter, or undo it.
Poor fellow, how I pity you! Your life
Will be at best a sorrowful existence-
For Benedict trials and a fair young wife,
You're Ml so many blessings in the distance!
But there's no help;-‘tis a predestined fate
All bachelors must come to, soon or late.
My deep compassion I extend to you,
Even as to any other suitsring human-
(There‘s surely sympathy between us two,
N ow since youjvc “ got to be A: married woman!”
How blest we are-we, oi the wedded throng-
Whnl fools we were to live sloue so long.)
I pity. too, the lady at your side,
Whom you’vs contrived is neatly to invaigie,
For if we take the Bible for a guide, .
‘Tia svidt your marriage ion‘! legal.’
That says the lion and the lamb shall lodgo
Together-not the Dyan and the Dadp!
A kiss to your (air bride. I'd like to press
It on her lips myself-a sweet temptation-
lint as I cannot reach, I rather guess
I'll leave you to perform the operation;
Only remember, please, you selfish elf,
Bosurstokiseforsns-notforyoumlf.
May the Lord blsss you; may your voices blend
in a duett of most melodious measure;
Without a jarring note, may you ascend
The scale of happiness, and love, and pleasure;
And may no broken string’: harsh falsity
def belongs to OHSIAS in the midst during the first three months of wedlock,
a.
ltlw New Forest. Many years afterwards,
lwlmn ljoined the Preventive Service, I
1
Farewell to all your bachelor iuxurios-
l ing the revenue, as well as in avoiding the
‘paratively youthful desperado, whose real
Huh discord in life’s perfect harmony.
A TALE OF COUBAGE
nnscx Jack:
or, The snnlugglers n.!“r..mr.
I! A! EJSGLXUK orncu.
HENI was quite a. lad, a servant-
livcd with us of the name of Anne
Stacey. She had been in the service of
William Cobbett, the political writer, who
resided for some years at Botley, a village
a few miles distant from Itcben. Anne
mightbe about two or three and twenty
years of age when she came to us; and a
very notable, industrious servant she was,
end remarked, .. , as possessing a.
stborgng religious bias. Her featur'es,1eyery-
yagreed were comely and mtehgent.
But thnt, advantage in the matrimonial
lnmlielv ‘V585 more than ‘neutialiscd by her
“DVOWIIMW.-dgurs, which, owing, as we
understood,.m'ra11in her childhood, weal
hopelelsaly d9f;0rmes1. though still strongly
set gut ufiigtscu ar. Albert, a gum or money ,
.125“ .3 ‘:.‘?::“:-W:
H y se e 1 urmga ozen years of
servitude, amply compensated in the eyes,‘
of several idle and needy young fellows furl
the unlovely outline of her person; and.
LIN, with an infatuation too common with
persons of her class and condition, and in down at the door of the inn somewhere
spite of repeated warning, and the secret about six o’clock in the evcning,I quietly
misgivings. one would suppose, of her own entered and took a scat in the smoking-
ruinrl, ntarricd the best-looking, but most room uurecognizctbasl thought, by any
worthless and dissipated of them all. This one--for-I was not in uniform. My man
man, Henry Ransome by name, was I had not arrived; and after waiting afew
have been informed, constantly intoxicated minutes, I stepped out to inquire at the bar
if sucha person had been there. To my
great surprise, a young woman--girl would
be a better Word, for she could not be more
than seventeen, or at the utmost eighteen
years old--whom I had noticed on the out-
side of the coach, was just asking if one
Dr Lee was expected. This was precisely
the individual who was to meet me, and I
looked with some curiosity at the inquirer.
She was a coarsely, but neatly attired per-
son, of a pretty figure, interesting, but de-
jected cast of features, and with large, dark,
sorrowing eyes. Thoughtfulness and care
were not less marked’ in the humble, sub-
dued tone in which she spoke. “ Could I
sit down anywhere till he comes?" she tim-
idly asked, after hearing the bar-woman's
reply. The servant civilly invited her to
take :1 seat by the bzn-fire, and I returned.
without saying anything, to the smoking-
rooru. rang the bell, and ordered a glass of
brandy and water, and some biscuits. I
had been seated a very short time only,
when the quick, consequential step, and
sharp, cracked voice of Dr Lee sounded
along the passage; and after a momentary
pause at the bar, his round, smirking, good-
humored, knavish face looked in at the
parlor-door, where, seeing me alone, he
winked with uncommon expression, and
said aloud: “ A prime fire in the smoking-
room, I see; I shall treat myself to a whiif
there presently." This said, the shining
face vanished, in order, I doubted not, that
its owner might confer with the young girl
who had been inquiring for him. This Lee
Imust observe, had no legal right to the
prefix of doctor tacked to his name. He
was merely a peripatctic quack-salver and
vendor of infallible medicines, who, having
wielded the pestle in an apothecary’s shop
for some years during his youth, had ac-
lquired a little skill in the use of drugs, and
could open a vein or drawa tooth with
considerable dexterity. He had a large,
but not, I think, "ery rcmunerative prac-
and then the ill-assorted couple disappeared
from the neighborhood of Itchcn, and took
up their abode in one of the hamlets of
frequently beard mention of his name as
that of a man singularly skilful in defraud-
penalties which surround that dangerous
vocation. One day, he was pointed out
to me when standing by the Cross-House
near the Ferry, in company with a com-
name was John llfyatt, though generally
known amongst the smuggling fraternity
and other personal intimates, by the sobri-
quel of Black Jack-on account, I suppose,
of his dark, heavy-bi-owed, scowling figure-
head, one of the most repulsive, I think, I
have ever seen. Anne's husband, Henry
Ransome, seemed, so far as very brief ob-
servation enabled me to judge, quite a dif-
ferent person from his much younger, as
well as much bigger and brawuier associate.
Idid not doubt that, before excessive in-
dulgence had wasted his now pallid features,
and sapped the vigor of his thin and shak-
ing frame, he had been a smart, good-look-
ing chap enough; and there was, it struck
me, spite of his reputation as ‘a. knowing
one,’ considerably more of the dupe than
the kuave, of the fool than the villain, in
the dreary, downcast, skulking expression
that liitted over his features as his eye caught
mine intently regarding him. I noticed
also that he had a dry, hard cough, and I
set down in my own mind as certain that
he would, are many months passed away,
he consigned, like scores of his fellows, ion
brandy-hastened grave. He indicated my
presence-proximity, rather-to “’yatt, by
a nudge on the elbow, whereupon that re-
spectable personage swung sharply round,
and returned my scrutinising gaze by one
of insolent defiance and bravado, which he
contrived to render still more emphatic by tice, amongst the poaching, deer-stealing,
thrusting his tongue into his cheek. This Smuggling community of those parts, to
done, he gathered up a coil of rope from whom it was of vital importance that the
one of the seats of. the C;-955.1-Iouse, and hurts received in their desperate pursuits
said: “Come, Harry, let‘s be off. That should be tended by some one not inclined
gentleman seems to want to take our plc- to babble of the number, circumstances, or
tures-on account that our mugs are such whereabouts of his patients. This essen-
hnndsome ones, no doubt; and if it was a llill Condition L00: IIYPDI-‘Vite: linave as 118
mildish afternoon, I shouldn't mind liaving W35, strictly fulfilled? and "0 lllducemenli
mine done; but as the weather's rather could, Ithink, have prevailed upon him to
nippy likc, we’d bcttc-rbe toddling,Ithink." betray the hiding-place of a wounded or
They then swaggered oii", and crossed the suffering client. In other respects, be per-
Ferry. .
Two or three weeks afterwards, I again
met with them, under the following circum-
stances :-I landed from the Rose, at Lym-
ington, for the purpose of going by coach
to Lyndhurst, a considerable village in the
New Forest, from which an ex-chancellor
derives his title. I had appointedto meet
a confidential agentthere at the Fox and
Hounds Inn, a third-rate tavern, situate at
the foot of the hill upon which the place is ,
built; and as the evening promised to be t9 '30"‘Pl3‘"'
clear and fine, though cold, I anticipated a He soon reappeared: and Wok 3 Cllilll‘ ll)’
bracing, cross-country walk afterwards in 1 the fire. Wlxiclh filler civilly saluting 1110, he
the direction of Hythc, in the neighborhood ‘ stirred almost fiercely, eyeing as he did so
action, thereto compelled, he was wont
apologetically to remark, by the wretched-
ly poor remuneration obtained by his medi-
cal practice. If, however, specie was scarce
amongst his clients, spirits, as his rubicund,
carbuncled face ilamingl)’ V-55tl59d: Were
very plentiful. There was a receipt in
full painted there for a prodigious amount
of drugs and chemicals, so that, on the
whole, he could have had no great reason
mined himself a. more profitable freedom of
cious and boastful as a Gascon.
‘'“'hat is the matter, doctor '3” I said.
“ You appcar strangely down upon your
back all at once.”
“ Hush-hush; Speak lower, sir, pray.
The fact is, I have just heard that a fellow
is lurking about here You have not,
I hope, asked for me of any one? ”
“I have not; but what if I had ?”
“ lVhy, you see, sir, that suspicion-can
lumny, Shakspeare says, could not be es-
caped, even if one were pure as snow-
and more especially, therefore, when one is
not quite so-so-- Ahem l you under-
stand?"
“ Very well, indeed. You would say,
that when one is not actually immaculate-
calumny, suspicion takes an earlier and
firmer hold.”
“Just so; exactly-and, in fact-ha !"-
The door was suddenly thrown open,
and the doctor fairly leaped to his feet with
ill-disguised alarm. It was only the bar-
maid, to ask if he had rung. He had not
done so, and as it was perfectly understood
that I paid for all on these occasions, that
fact alone was abundantly conclusive as to
the disordered smte of his entellcct. He
now ordered brandy and water, a pipe, and
a screw of tobacco. Those ministrants to a.
mind disturbed somewhat calmed the doc-
tor’s excitement, and his cunning gray eyes
soon brightly twinklcd again through a haze
of curling smoke.
“ Did you notice,” he resumed, “ a female
sitting in the bar ? She knows you."
“ A young, intelligent-l "ing girl. Yes.
Who is she?"
“ Young I" replied Lee, evasively, I
thought. “VVell, it's true she is young in
years, but not in experience-in suffering,
poor girl, as I can bear wjmess.”
“There are, indeed, but faint indications
of the mirth and lightness of youth or child-
hood in those timid, apprehensive eyes of
hers.”
“ She never had a childhood. Girls of
her condition seldom have. Her father's
booked for the next world, and by an early
shagc too, unless he mcnds his manners,
and that I hardly see how hc’s to (lo. Tho
girl's been to Lymington to see after it
place. Can't have it. Her fathc-.r’s char-
acter is against her. Unfortunate, for she's
a good girl."
“I am sorry for hcr. But come, to
business. How about the matter you wot
of ?”
“ Herc are all the particulars," answered
Lee, with an easy transition from a senti-
mental to a common-sense, business-like tone,
and at the same time unscrewing the lid of
a tortoise-shell tobacco-box, and taking a.
folded paper from it. “I keep these mat-
ters generally here; for if I were to drop
such an article-just now, especially-I
might as well be hung out to dry at once."
I glanced over the paper. ‘-' Place, date,
hour correct, and thoroughly to be depend-
cd upon, you say, eh ?"
“ Correct as Cocker, I'll answer for it.
It would be a spicy run for them, if there
were no man-traps in the way."
I placed the paper in my Waistcaab-po<:k-
ct, and then handed the doctor his prelim-
inary fee. The touch of gold had not its
usual electrical effect upon him. His ner-
vous fit was coming on again. “ I wish," he
puffed out-“ I wish I was safe out of this
part of the Country, or else that a certain
whereof dwelt a person-neither ii seamen ‘ the blazing coals with a ‘- If-abstracted and 1 person I know was transported: then in-
nor a smuggler-whose favor I was just sullen, cmved, disquictcd look altogctlrer'tlccd"‘
then very diligently cultivating. It was
,unusual with him. At least wherever I
the month of November. and on being set
“And who may the certain person be,
had lx-fore sown him. be had boon no loqns- I doctor?” domnndovl a grim-looking rascal,