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THE
TO CONTRIBUTORS.
The Editor will be glad to receive interesting and
humorousshort stories suitable for publication.
NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS.
A Scale of Charges, fixed on :1 very reasonable
basis. will be sent by return on receipt of a Postcard
addressed The Manager, 6 Upper Sackville Street,
Dublin. ‘
Advertisements inserted for an indefinite period will
be charged for until countermanded.
All letters to be addressed to THE LEPRACAUN
Office, 6 Upper Sackville Street, Dublin.
To be had troiii Messrs. E:son’s, Middle Abbey St.,
Dublin. Yearly Subscription, post free, 2]-
LINES ON AN AUTUMN LEAF.
I (Inscribed lo 11165.05. Wall and Drury).
‘BY THE MUSICAL BURGLAR.
It was a beauteous autumn leaf,
Its colour black and white ;
We loved it much, but to our grief
It vanished from our sight.
We sought it up, we sought it doivn,
We sought it everywheree
Among the leaves of gold and brown--
But, ah lno leaf was there.
We questioned clerks, but no one knew
, VVhy other leaves were left ;
We badgered bobbies, but each “ blue”
Knew naught about the theft. .
Yet, while our heart is sore with grief,
Some other hearts are gay ;
Whose names are on that vanished leaf,
They'll have no jfrzcs [0 pay.
BLIMMING.
“ john Oliver Hobbes," that wonderful combination of
philosophy and “ bunkum” (as she would probably
spell it herself), has endeavoured to inflict on her
countrymen and women a word which she claims as
her own invention. She says that “ blimmiiig,” the
new addition to the dictionary, means “the art of
talking pleasantly and saying nothing.”
‘‘]ohn'’ ! come home, and drop into the first barrack
room you meet in Old England about ten minutes
before “fall in,” and if you‘don’t hear enough
“ Blini"-ing, with now and then a prefix of “ Lor”
thrown in, your knowledge of the “ Lor Blim’e” dic-
tionary is a painfully unknown quantity for a Society
.novelist.
A LITERARY CURIOSITY.
The following appears in an advertisement in the
‘ Xmas No. of 271: Irish Patkelze
AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF sm w. GREGORY.
‘ By Lady Gregory.
Hoiv an Autobiography of one person can be written
‘by another is a conundrum we present to our readers
‘for their Christmas entertainment. ‘ Anyone sending in
.correct solution will be presented with a ticket for a
-free excursion from Tara Street to Westland Roiv.
LEI’
RACAUN.
DECEMBER, i9o5
CHRISTMAS FARE.
BY OUR CHIEF CHEF. ”
Don’t depend on your relations in the country to send
you the turkey; it’s a mistake. Relations are funny
things. One Christmas you may have halfsa-dozen
turkeys turning blue in the pantry; another time, after
waiting in hopes till the last minute, you may be left
without one at all; so, if you are wise, you will set
about procuring one in time.
There are several ways of obtaining a good turkey
handy. If your next-door neighbour happens to bea
bit of a dab in the poultry line so much the better. Keep
a good look-out the night before he sends his birds to
the market, and after he retires to rest a soft step,a
strong sack, and a steady hand should about do the
trick.
Having obtained the turkey by fair means or “foivl,"
the next matter is to set aboutcooking it. ..
The first thing to do is to watch the cat. Cats have
a “ sneaking” regard for turkeys. Get an oven, put in
the turkey, and put out the cat. Should the cat remain
in the oven with the bird, by accident, say nothing
about it upstairs; you can have "hair” soup next
week.
By the way, don’t forget to light the fire under the
oven; turkeys always cook better when the fire has
been lit.
If you happen to be the head of a large family you
will probably require an amount of self-restraint when
carving and dividing the bird. When carving don’t
hack. If you have to manipulate an old warrior, and
the carving knife makes no impression, use patience, or
a hatchet, or a little of both. Then as to apportioning
the various parts, you will want to be pretty smart. At
least three will want a leg each, and perhaps four a
wing apiece. Don't rave. Try and look pleasant
while you explain that you are trying to carve a turkey,
not a freak of nature.
Now the ham. There are several sorts of ham.
There is the Christmas ham, the mahogany ham, the
ordinary ham, and the Harvey ham-let. Some hams
require hours to boil ; some take weeks.
The easiest thing to do is get an ordinary ham. Put
it in a pot of boiling water, light the fire, and go out
for the day.
Come back about an hour before dinner-time, have a
look for the ham ; take it out of the pot, or whatever is
left of it; hold it in your hands before the fire till it
begins to “ sizzle." Then, when you and the ham are
done to a golden brown, lay it on a dish,.put a col-
larette round its neck, and wait forran appetite.
And, lastly, the Plum Pudding.
Children can never understand why this delightful
concoction is only given to them once a year. For-
tunately for themselves and the birth rate it is so.
Plum puddings are more often than not left unfinished,
ant “ kind-hearted” people are sometimes inclined to
give the balance to the poor. If you have any charity
in you, don't. Keep theireinains ; they may turn in
handy to repair the garden wall. mend the summer-
house, or patch the roof. In conclusion is appended an
excellent receipt for this indispensable commodity.
Plum Pudding.-Required : Every girl‘ in,tlie house;
several yards of suet, two or three tables, any amount
of eggs, fuss, worry, cloths. raispins, bread crumbs.
odds and ends, a good cook, and a large‘ pot; VVash all
thoroughly, mix the lot well together, tie up in a table-
cloth, and boil every day for a month.
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